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Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The good the bad and mostly the gullible - My struggle on omegle.

Stranger: How can I help you?
You: ummm
You: you can't?
You: not for my problems anyway...
You: how are you?
Stranger: so you have problems?
Stranger: Im ok
You: i have a problem which could manifest into many problems
Stranger: sounds complex
You: mmhmmm
You: where are you from?
Stranger: why not share with a random stranger?
Stranger: Im in Toronto
You: well I don't know
You: would you judge me?
Stranger: I cant judge someone I dont know
You: if i tell you, i genuinely need some help, not idiocy
You: you can judge deeds on their merits though
Stranger: Obviously
Stranger: I all ears..or eyes
Stranger: Im lol
You: alright i'll tell you stuff in short bursts, if you don't like where this is going just tell me to stop
You: it's easier than telling me to fuck off :P
Stranger: Ok
Stranger: I wont do that
You: alright
You: i've commited a crime
Stranger: alright
You: go on?
Stranger: sure
You: it's the kind of crime that could put me behind bars
Stranger: most crimes are like that
You: no....for a very long time
Stranger: ok
You: leave it at that?
Stranger: up to you
Stranger: my advice is pending knowing what the general issue is
You: alright
You: I've ended a life
You: indirectly
Stranger: thats pretty serious
You: yes, yes it is
You: but it's before i changed
Stranger: but indirectly
You: i was different when i commited those crimes
You: i swear, i'm not the same anymore
Stranger: hmm...so you have changed your ways as a result of what happened?
You: well i had to change my ways originally because i was being pursued, but yes eventually i changed my mind
Stranger: pursued by authorities?
You: yes, many
Stranger: you said you are indirectly responsible though
You: yes....but i lied a little when i said it was a life
You: change that into plural
Stranger: hmm
Stranger: plural? how many are we talking about here??
You: about 6...
You: ...you have to understand I was different back then, mein authority was immense
Stranger: so then the individuals directly involved is the guilty party
You: what if it was under mein order that these millions have died?
Stranger: millions? that's a bit of an exaggeration, 6 is a lot but not a catastrophe.
Stranger: can it be proven?
You: yes 6....6 million, I lied again, and it has been proven, I've had to move countries
You: and spread a rumour that I'm dead
You: but you must understand, i have changed, it's been...my struggle.
Stranger: I'm not understanding, 6 million? 
You: there are some groups who have figured out i am not dead
You: and they're keeping the flame alive
Stranger: has the party that commited the crime been brought to justice?
You: yes, yes they have
You: they are....no more.
You: but still they keep it alive
Stranger: you are in a very tough spot then
You: http://www.salisburypost.com/august/083099f.htm

they are writing articles about my unproven death, i am worried
You: in my defence...the jews started it, they made fun of mein drawings.
Stranger: you are Hitler?!
You: I'm going to rape you in the mouth.
You: mein kampf will become YOUR KAMPF
Stranger: fuck you, fucking shithead
You: you have a purty mouth, can i wear it?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like funChat #1,funChat #2The culturally unaware Omegler Pt.2, and The culturally unaware Omegler Pt.1.

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