HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS!

Inspired by a bunch of convos e-mailed to us by ricky clarke.

You: lets do it

Stranger: heyy

You: asl?

Stranger: 18 f us

Stranger: you?

You: 19/m/sydney

You: cyber? (really horny)

Stranger: like talk it out?

Stranger: like talk it out?

You: yea

Stranger: ?

Stranger: k

Stranger: you start

You: okayyy

You: what are you wearing?

Stranger: nothing :p

Stranger: you?

Stranger: ?

You: mmmmm

You: im wearing some lightweight robes

Stranger: nicee

You: with a rope belt ;)

You: and straw sandles..their easy on the feet

Stranger: :)

You: shall i place you on the counter?

Stranger: please

You: shall i caress you ever so gently

Stranger: caress?

You: squeeze? :)

Stranger: boobs?

You: uh huh

Stranger: yesss

You: hard

Stranger: dont hurt them

You: should i put on some music to sexify the mood?

Stranger: please

Stranger: then what are you going to do?

You: im putting the cd in reaalllly sexily

Stranger: good

You: are you ready to have your world rocked? ;)

Stranger: yes

You: how much do you want it?

You: are you screaming for it?

Stranger: yessss

Stranger: i want ALOT

You: then...let it play

You: .................................................. ............,-~~'''''''~~--,,_

.................................................. ........................,-~''-,:::::::::::::::::::''-,
.................................................. ....................,~''::::::::',::::::: :::::::::::::|',
.................................................. ...................|::::::,-~'''___''''~~--~''':}
.................................................. ...................'|:::::|: : : : : : : : : : : : : :
.................................................. ...................|:::::|: : :-~~---: : : -----: |
.................................................. ..................(_''~-': : : ::: : : : : :
.................................................. ..................'''~-,|: : : : : : ~---': : : :,'--NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP
.................................................. .......................|,: : : : : :-~~--: : ::/ --NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN!
.................................................. ..................,-''':: :'~,,_: : : : : _,-'
.................................................. ............__,-';;;;;:''-,: : : :'~---~''/|
.......................................................__,-~'';;;;;;/;;;;;;;: :: : :____/: :',__
........................................ .,-~~~''''_;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',. .''-,:|:::::::|. . |;;;;''-,
......................................,' ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;. . .:::::,'. ./|;;;;;;;;;;;;;|
...................................,-'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',: : |__|. . .|;;;;;;;;;,';;|
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................................/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;. . |::|. . . |;;;;;;;;|/
............................../;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;; ;;; |..|. . . .|;;;;;;;;|
.........................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;'', |.;|. . . . ;;;;;;;|
..........................,~'';;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;,-'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|. |.;|. . . . .|;;;;;;;|
......................,~'';;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',;;;;;;| |:|. . . . |;;;;;;;|
.....................,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;/;;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;| |:|. . . .'|;;',;;;;;|
....................|;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-';;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;| |:|. . .,';;;;;',;;;;|_
..................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'_;;;;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; |.|:|. . .|;;;;;;;|;;;;|''''~-,
................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/_'',;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ,;;| |:|. . ./;;;;;;;;|;;;|;;;;;;|-,,__
................/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'...|;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;| |:|._,-';;;;;;;;;|;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;'''-,_
............../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'....,';;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;|.|:|::::'''~--~'''||;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;,-~''''~--,
............,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'....../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;|.|:|::::::::::::::|;;;;;',;;;;;;;;;''-,: : : : : :'''~-,:'''~~--,
.........../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'......,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;|:|:|::::::::::::::',;;;;;;|_''''~--,,-~---,,___,-~~'''__''~-
........,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'......../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;|:|:|:::::::::::::::|;;;;;;|.................. ...''-,_''-,''-,''~
......../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/.......,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;|:|:|:::::::::::::::|;;;;;|................ .............._''

You: RICK ROLLED MOTHERFUCKER

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Intolerance Pt. 6

You: F

You: A

You: G

You: G

You: O

You: T

Stranger: ass hole

You: that's my name :(

Stranger: fucker

You have disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch, you may also like Intolerance Pt. 5, Intolerance Pt.2, Intolerance Pt.3, Intolerance Pt.4, Gay for Jesus- Jesusography, and Sexism on omegle.

Dirty talk - it's in the name baby...you don't even want to know about potty mouth.

Emailed in by one of our readers, Will Bronto.
You: Hi

You: How are you?

Stranger: heyy

Stranger: plsss talk dirty to mee

You: ...

You: DIRT

You: MUD

Stranger: plss

You: FECES

Stranger: noo

Stranger: im hornnyy

Stranger: pleaase

You: ...you DON'T get aroused by dirt, mud, and feces?

Stranger: ugh

Stranger: noo

You: ...freak.

Stranger: pleasse speakk dirtty to mee

You: grime

You: impurity

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like funChat #1,Shocker #1, Shocker #2, Shocker #3, or Shocker #4.

It's not easy to take news like this lightly.

Emailed in by one of our readers, Nir G.

You: you haz aidz

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Francais aime le cyber, Cybermon...I choost you!, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell?

Note to self - Most problems can be solved through ingestion.

Emailed in by one of our readers, Nigrabiscuits.

Stranger: hi there - girl 16 here looking for another GIRL for cam fun - NO guys pretending to be girls, NO pic swap and NO cyber - and please don't reply unless you have a cam!

You: OMGI HAVE SOME RAGING DIARRHEA

You: I NEED HELP

IT BURNS

Stranger: drink it

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Detective Dipshit, Desperation, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell?

Note to self - Chances of running into a total faggot twice are extremely high on omegle.

Emailed in by one of our readers, Tits Magee.

Stranger: YO

Stranger: What's "poppin"?

You: Those damn caps

You: They'll get you

Stranger: Yup

Stranger: Dammit

Stranger: Have I met you?

Stranger: M/F?

You: You have

Stranger: HAHAHAHA

Stranger: 4122 users online and I run into the same person twice?

You: Yes

You: I realised it was you because no other faggot on the internet says "YO"

You have disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you might also like Note to self - Strangers do not like mudkipz and Note to self - Gaming legends just aren't appreciated on lolmegle.

Knock fail - A submission that brough a smile to this editors face.

Emailed in by one of our readers, CKL.

Stranger: knock knock

You: Who's there? Someone who read too much lolmegle and wants to disconnect

You: ?

Stranger: YOU'RE STUPID AND YOU'RE WRONG! I AM NOT JUST MAKING EXCUSES. ALL RIGHT I'LL GO

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Knock Knock #4

You: knock knock

Stranger: whos there?

You: failure :(

Stranger: failure who/

You: failure you.

You have disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Knock Knock #1, Knock Knock #2.

Note to self - This conversation is finished.

Emailed in by one of our readers, DJ.
Stranger: AASI

You: aasl? you like programming?

Stranger: i say aasi becauce...

Stranger: i'm tryin' to know that is my friend whos with i'm talkin' :)

Stranger: means

Stranger: aasi is a finnish word

Stranger: like

Stranger: a hors

Stranger: e

Stranger: or somethinn

Stranger: like tha

You: i dont think thats a finished words tho

Stranger: FINNISH

You: do you mean something like ass

Stranger: FINNISH IS A LANGUAGE

Stranger: NO

Stranger: FINNISH IS A LANGUAGE

Stranger: AND THAT IS A LANGUAGE

Stranger: WHAT IS TALKIN IN

Stranger: FINLAND

You: im sure most language are finished though good sir

Stranger: AND FINLAND IS A COUNTRY

You: a -finished- land???

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you might also like another Note to self and Note to self - Omegler's mommas...no go.

Cyber role play - gay people just don't understand.

Emailed in by one of our readers, Will Bronto.

You: Hi

Stranger: m/f?

You: M

You: You?

Stranger: F

Stranger: wanna roleplay?

Stranger: it is not as lame as it sounds

You: Alright?

Stranger: do you want to pick the roles

You: Not really

Stranger: ok i will

Stranger: i'm the student

Stranger: you are the teacher

Stranger: you start

You: Hold on

You: I have another idea

You: How about you be the girl

You: who is suggesting role playing

You: and I'm the gay guy staring blankly at the computer screen

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Francais aime le cyber, Cybermon...I choost you!, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell?

Absorbent and yellow and deadish are they.

Stranger: helllo:D

You: WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?!

Stranger: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!!!

You: ...no.

You: your parents.

You: I axe murdered them before chopping them up into little pieces and shoving them into a pineapple skin before proceeding to deadweight drop it into the pacific.

You: so yea...there's that story, whachoo upto delicate?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Tame Rejection, Desperation, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell?

Hey everybody!

Seeing that LOLmegle has been up for a couple of months now, we (two college students from Australia who predominately waste their time on the internet) decided that we'd finally share some news about where this site is going and what this site is actually about.

After spending weeks throwing away our time on Omegle, annoying countless pedophiles from all over the world, we made the decision to start LOLmegle, a one-stop shop for funny Omegle convos that people have either deliberately or innocently had.

Our initial mindset was "Hey, if we get a few hundred views, that would be pretty sweet." But we had no idea that we would be getting loads of submissions/views/etc, and that you guys would be so enthusiastic about this site.

So, we've decided to design a proper, simple website with a proper submission/contact page, and a way for you guys to "like" convos and view the "most liked" convos as well. It's just a starting point to see where this site can really go. Eventually, depending on the kind of submissions we get, we'll probably add a "dislike" or a "this is shit" button to convos as well.

It's just an update so you guys have a heads up, and so you know that we do listen to your requests/emails. Depending on other commitments, we'll hopefully have the new site up and running soon. In the mean time, follow us on twitter here. Thanks for all your submissions, keep it up  and happy LOLmegling!

Shocker! Pt. 5

Emailed in by the ever so charming, Tits Magee.

You: Hey

You: Wanna rp?

Stranger: sure

You: Okay

You: You're a guy right?

Stranger: yes

You: Okay good, I'm a girl

Stranger: cool

You: Okay

You: I'm your neighbor

Stranger: okay

You: And I've come over your house

Stranger: why are you coming over?

You: Answer the door and find out

You: *ring ring*

Stranger: hey there!

Stranger: how's it going/

You: Good

You: Uh

You: I just came over

You: I need to borrow a baking pan

Stranger: a baking pan?

You: Do you have one?

Stranger: i think i have one

Stranger: come on in

You: Okay cool

Stranger: i'll check in the kitchen

You: *I folloow you there*

Stranger: what do you need it for?

You: I'm baking a cake

Stranger: delicious

You: Yeah

You: I started making it and I realised I didn't have a baking pan

You: But yeah, can you find one?

Stranger: well i think i can

Stranger: let me just look in this cabinet

You: Okay

Stranger: i don't have one, sorry!

Stranger: i thought i did

You: Are you sure?

Stranger: i feel really bad

You: What about this cabinet

Stranger: all i have is this baking sheet for chips

Stranger: i am sure it won't work...

You: Well you have to try and find one

You: I really need it

Stranger: well, just give this a try

Stranger: its really strong

Stranger: i'll slap your ass with it to show you

You: Are you fucking kidding me?

You: It's a fucking baking sheet

You: What the fuck am I supposed to do with this

You: Also, I don't appreciate the demeaning shit you're saying

You: You need to be taught a lesson

Stranger: okay

Stranger: so teach me

You: *I grab the sheet off you and push you to the ground*

Stranger: ow!

You: *You smile hungrily at me, at which point I whack you hard across the face*

You: *Now you are looking at me more fearfully*

You: Don't

You: Fucking

You: Mess

You: With me

Stranger: yes sir

You: *I hit your face again, this time drawing blood*

You: *A maniacal smile streches my face*

Stranger: ouch

You: *I begin to repeatedly bash you across the face until you are drenched in blood, all the while screaming "IT'S A PEICE OF CAKE TO BAKE A PRETTY CAKE, IF THE WAY IS HAZY"

Stranger: wow thats hardcore

You: *Once I am finished beating you, I whip out my 10 inch cock and ram it into your swollen, blood soaked mouth, choking you to death with my cum*

You: Fuckin cocksmoker

Stranger: ohhh yes

You have disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like funChat #1,Shocker #1, Shocker #2, Shocker #3, or Shocker #4.

The Wonders of Lies and Roleplay

Emailed in by one of our readers, Tits Magee (his suggestion not mine)

Stranger: cyber sex?

You: Only if its gay

Stranger: k

Stranger: m/f?

You: M

Stranger: good same

Stranger: role play?

You: Sure

Stranger: your the firemen

Stranger: who just rescued me and is horny

Stranger: you start

You: Better yet, I'm jailbait

You: And you're my neighbor

Stranger: k

You: You start

Stranger: helllo neighbour

You: Hello

Stranger: say my wife is out of town

Stranger: wanna come in for a drink>?

You: Sure

Stranger: *1 hour later*

Stranger: FUCK ME HARD

You: CAN I RAM IT IN?

Stranger: PLEASEE DOO

You: *BAAAAAAM*

You: YOU LIKE THAT

Stranger: how about we do romantic sex?

You: Oh okay

Stranger: im glad uu came to dinner

You: ROMANTICALLY FUCK ME HARD

Stranger: u suck at this; im really a girl btw

Stranger: so this is hard

You: Akward

Stranger: yee bye

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Cybermon...I choost you!, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell?

Note to self - No means no...unless it means yes.

You: cyber?

Stranger: no

You: cybertron?

You: ...you're completely stumped now aren't you?

Stranger: no

You: you totally want a throbbing black cock to lovingly insert itself into your tight anus don't you?

Stranger: no

You: you're going to keep saying no to everything I say aren't you.

Stranger: yes

You: well that wasn't a no right there was it fagmunch?

You:YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Trollwin.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Francais aime le cyber, Intolerance Pt.4, Gay for Jesus- Jesusography, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell?

Note to self - When attempting to appear mystical and original with your questions on omegle...make sure your question doesn't suck. Also celebrate your homosexuality.

Emailed in by one of our readers, ES.

You: im gay

Stranger: You have 5 questions, i will answer them honestly.

You: what is your social security number?

Stranger: -.-*

Stranger: You´re really smart, huh?

You: Ok, what is your credit card number?

Stranger: -.-*

You: You can't keep a promise.

Stranger: Your too smart :(

Stranger: No :(

Stranger: But your gay!

Stranger: LOL!

You: YEAH!

You have disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you might also likeNote to self - Strangers do not like mudkipz and Note to self - Omegler's mommas...no go.

Detective Dipshit - Volume 1

Emailed in by one of our readers, Swat Swat.
You: hi

Stranger: hi

Stranger: asp

You: ?

You: asp?

You: you like snakes?

Stranger: yes i do

Stranger: asp means age sex place

You: no one says that

Stranger: so?

You: they say asl

You: age sex location

Stranger: ok asl?

You: well, that would ruin the mystery

Stranger: you like mystry

You: I will give you a hint: I am a great detective and my bumbling partner's name is watson.

Stranger: you fuck each other

You: I was written about by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

You: I have solved many mysteries.

Stranger: is that your gay parter to

You: My arch-nemesis is professor James Moriarty

Stranger: are you a retardo

You: I use deductive reasoning to see what others cannot.

You: My name...

You: if you have no reasoned it out yet

Stranger: physco i guess

You: is Sherlock Holmes

You: would you like to know what I have learned about you from this conversation?

Stranger: yes please

Stranger: i am waiting

You: You are a male, in your late adolesence to early adulthood. You do not have a romantic partner, nor have you in the past. You are not a native english speaker. You often feel inferior to successful people you meet or see. To mask your feelings of inferiority you degrade other races verbally, however have not ever confronted one in real life.

You: You often act impulsively.

Stranger: i am impressed

Stranger: you a doctor or something

You: I am a detective.

You have disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Tame Rejection, Desperation, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell?

Weekend Poll #2

Would you prefer an easy to use, user uploaded section to accompany the Lolmegle sketches/Picks? Yes No My dick. (Hell yes) Current Results

Fuck you kid, you're a faggot.

Emailed in by one of our readers, RZ.

Stranger: helllo

You: i was going to call you a faggot

You: but i decided no

You: i'll be the bigger man

Stranger: cheers

You: wtf?

You: cheers

Stranger: aye

You: who says cheers and aye?

Stranger: me

You: you faggot

You have disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like She'sAFishButNotReally, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans, What does that spell? and check out our Weekly Poll!

The good the bad and mostly the gullible - My struggle on omegle.

Stranger: How can I help you?

You: ummm

You: you can't?

You: not for my problems anyway...

You: how are you?

Stranger: so you have problems?

Stranger: Im ok

You: i have a problem which could manifest into many problems

Stranger: sounds complex

You: mmhmmm

You: where are you from?

Stranger: why not share with a random stranger?

Stranger: Im in Toronto

You: well I don't know

You: would you judge me?

Stranger: I cant judge someone I dont know

You: if i tell you, i genuinely need some help, not idiocy

You: you can judge deeds on their merits though

Stranger: Obviously

Stranger: I all ears..or eyes

Stranger: Im lol

You: alright i'll tell you stuff in short bursts, if you don't like where this is going just tell me to stop

You: it's easier than telling me to fuck off :P

Stranger: Ok

Stranger: I wont do that

You: alright

You: i've commited a crime

Stranger: alright

You: go on?

Stranger: sure

You: it's the kind of crime that could put me behind bars

Stranger: most crimes are like that

You: no....for a very long time

Stranger: ok

You: leave it at that?

Stranger: up to you

Stranger: my advice is pending knowing what the general issue is

You: alright

You: I've ended a life

You: indirectly

Stranger: thats pretty serious

You: yes, yes it is

You: but it's before i changed

Stranger: but indirectly

You: i was different when i commited those crimes

You: i swear, i'm not the same anymore

Stranger: hmm...so you have changed your ways as a result of what happened?

You: well i had to change my ways originally because i was being pursued, but yes eventually i changed my mind

Stranger: pursued by authorities?

You: yes, many

Stranger: you said you are indirectly responsible though

You: yes....but i lied a little when i said it was a life

You: change that into plural

Stranger: hmm

Stranger: plural? how many are we talking about here??

You: about 6...

You: ...you have to understand I was different back then, mein authority was immense

Stranger: so then the individuals directly involved is the guilty party

You: what if it was under mein order that these millions have died?

Stranger: millions? that's a bit of an exaggeration, 6 is a lot but not a catastrophe.

Stranger: can it be proven?

You: yes 6....6 million, I lied again, and it has been proven, I've had to move countries

You: and spread a rumour that I'm dead

You: but you must understand, i have changed, it's been...my struggle.

Stranger: I'm not understanding, 6 million? 

You: there are some groups who have figured out i am not dead

You: and they're keeping the flame alive

Stranger: has the party that commited the crime been brought to justice?

You: yes, yes they have

You: they are....no more.

You: but still they keep it alive

Stranger: you are in a very tough spot then

You: http://www.salisburypost.com/august/083099f.htm

they are writing articles about my unproven death, i am worried

You: in my defence...the jews started it, they made fun of mein drawings.

Stranger: you are Hitler?!

You: I'm going to rape you in the mouth.

You: mein kampf will become YOUR KAMPF

You: AHAHAHAHAH

You: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Stranger: fuck you, fucking shithead

You: you have a purty mouth, can i wear it?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like funChat #1,funChat #2, The culturally unaware Omegler Pt.2, and The culturally unaware Omegler Pt.1.