Roleplay - harder without the rule book.

 Emailed in by one of our readers, the lvl. 1337 Logan P.
You: The game.

Stranger: im looking for a guy who likes roleplay interested?

You: OH I LOVE ROLEPLAY

Stranger: good

Stranger: what do u wanna do?

You: well, first, I put on my robe and wizard hat

You: to get me in the mood

You: ...............for MAGIC

Stranger: ok?

You:  just roll with it

Stranger: k

You: what are you

You: ?

Stranger: anything u want

You: ok. how about a thief

Stranger:  ok

You: and, um

You: you're trying to get the treasure

You: but i'm protecting it

Stranger:  ok

You: what do you do???

Stranger: i sneak in quietly moving slowly toward the treasure

You: ok, i roll for a listen check

You: YES i beat the DC

You: ok so I see you

You: um

You: I cast flare

You: you're blinded

Stranger: i fall back

You: ok

Stranger: moving forward again quickly

You: ok

You: so i advance

You: then i cast melf's acid arrow

You: it strikes for 1d6 damage

Stranger: what kind of roleplay are u doing?

You: 3.5, but without a rulebook it's hard

You have disconnected.
If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Francais aime le cyber, Cybermon...I choost you!, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell?

Note to self - realising your potential isn't always a good thing.

You: hello

Stranger: i greet you in the name of love and compassion

Stranger: i honor you as my brother or sister

Stranger: i know deep inside you are a wonderful and good person

You: i raped your mother :D

Stranger: no you didn't

You: ...im going to though.

Stranger: your haughtiness is only a shadow of your true existence

Stranger: realize now that you are infinite potential

Stranger:  why waste it in typing crap that lowers your morality?

You: interesting.

You: what should i be doing instead?

Stranger: what do you think needs to be done around you?

Stranger: look around you

Stranger: look at your neighbourhood

Stranger:  your country

You: theres alot to do though :P

You: where do i start?

Stranger: we all can improve and realize our potential

Stranger:  start within yourself

Stranger: be the change you want to see

You: holy shit man...that's deep

You: i think i see where you're going with this.

Stranger: see...you have the power inside yourself

You: i've got way more potential than this

Stranger: exactly.

You: starting tmmrw

Stranger: the change begins

You: i'm going to rape your father.

Stranger: .........

You: just kidding man, you don't have a father.

You: but you're totally right, i have so much potential

You: starting tmmrw i'm going to rape absolutely everything that moves.

Stranger: ...that's not what i mean't at all.

You:  too bad.

You have disconnected.
If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Have you found Jesus?, A Wild Omegle Appears!and Double-own. 

It's official, lil wayne frequents omegle...and he's a total faggot..............no homo.

Emailed in by one of our readers, emailed in by the nigtastic Alex G.

You: WHY HELLO THERE

Stranger:  hey:D

Stranger: whats going on

You: JUST MASTURBATIN MY DICK ,HBU

Stranger: nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but im a dude

You: aoaoaoaoa

You: NIGGA HOW BIG IS YO DICK NO HOMO

Stranger: not actually never took the time to measure but i would say its small but i wouldnt say its huge

Stranger: hbu (no homo also)

You: LOL

You: ITS PRETTY SMALL

You:  8 1/2

You: HOW ABOUT YOU?

Stranger:  is it cold or something? holy man

You: NIGGA HOW BIG R U

You: NH

You: YO YOU BETTER NOT BE DEAD

Stranger:  lets put it this way i rug burn on the head of my wang so i just hide it in my sock when i come across some carpet

Stranger: nah brah i was wrestling with my dick

Stranger:  i swear it has a brain of its own

You: MINE TALKS TO ME

Stranger:  that crazy man!!!!!!! lucky!

You: IT SAYS YOU PRETTY HOT, YOU WANNA SEND PICS OF YOUR COCK?

You: NO HOMO THOUGH, NIGGA I AINT INTO THAT HOMO SHIT

Stranger: i would but my dick is duct taped down my leg atm and oh yeah man its total not gay to show a brother your dick

You: TOTALLY

You: MAN SOMETIME I GOTTA WRAP MY DICK AROUND MY WAIST, IT CANT CONTAIN ITSELF SOMETIMES!

You: LIKE A BELT

Stranger: yah i know!! that one of the great benifits ! but you here about all the short dicked nigger talking about if they had a huge dick and how they would use it as a kick stand or some shit like that...... it dont work....TRUST ME i have lived the tail , like one day iw as minding my own business and i was like let try that shit...... snaped right the fuck in half , i was in a coma for a good two months

You: DAMN

Stranger: and my dick doesnt even go straight no more ,it droops a little now

Stranger: dont try it man not worth it AT ALL

You: I WONT MAN

You: YO YOU GOT MAGENT IN YO DICK?

Stranger: YAH I CHICK MAGNET;D

Stranger:  jk jk but no man but do you got one my brother?

You:  MAN DAT SHIT LEADS RIGHT TO THE PUSSY

Stranger:  oh yah i just want this little pussy moniter on ma dick that shows what ones are the best

You: OH LIKE A XRAY

You: DAT SHIT BE EXPENSIU DO

Stranger:  oh dam !!! dont even get me started .... your getting bald bill all worked up

Stranger: and yah true dat .... but it would be worth it!

You: TRU TINGS NIGGA

You:  ANYWAY THE PUSSY BE CALLIN MY NAME

You:  PEACE OUT DAWG

Stranger: atta boy dont stop till you get enough RIP MJ

Stranger:  peace nig white

You have disconnected.
If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Have you found Jesus?, A Wild Omegle Appears!and Double-own. 

I'd hate to have his take on spongebob theme.

 Emailed in by one of our readers, element.

You: AHOY THAR!

Stranger: SEXY TIME!

Stranger: Ahoy maty

You: OH YESH!

Stranger: yesh yesh yesh

You: I LOVE TALKING IN CAPS

Stranger: !1!!!1!!!!!!!!11 Onw

You: IT MAKES ME FEEL

You: ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stranger: like a dumbass.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Have you found Jesus?, A Wild Omegle Appears!and Double-own. 

Confusion - something to do with flaps.

Emailedin by one of our readers, the confused K Duffy.

Stranger: hey

You: flaps

Stranger: what?

You: flaps

Stranger: flaps?

You: what?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Have you found Jesus?, A Wild Omegle Appears!and Double-own. 
 

Some say to-may-toe, some say to-mah-toe, I say potato.

Emailed in by one of our readers, our resident potato...the brilliant Sarah Brenny.
Stranger: hi

You: So let me get this straight.

Stranger: female?

You: This is the internet. Am I right so far?

Stranger: yep

You: I see.

You: And you, my friend, are communicating via this 'internet', correct?

Stranger:  i guess

You: Because you, my dear stranger, cannot get laid. Sound familiar?

Stranger: yep right on the money

You: And, to add to your list of problems, your mom's basement gets increasingly cold at night as the winter wears on.

Stranger: nope dont have a basement

You: So you're homeless.

Stranger: no just have a house with four rooms and one of my own

You: So you're a hamster.

Stranger: exactly ima hamster

Stranger: And you are ?

You: Potatoes.

Stranger: Im just guessing but your a female who is uptight cause she is not able to get many orgasms

You: Nah. I'm potatoes. Potatoes typically are perfectly fine living in a sack with fellow potatoes until ready to be peeled and mashed/boiled/smashed. In my case though, I'm a rebel. I became sentient around 1942 and decided to invent and subsequently frequent the internet.

Stranger:  what is the point of informing me of the most irrelevant thing you could possibly say

You: Irrelevant? Oh my laws! This is only my life story! You indignant fool. How dare you diminish the importance of potatoes' role in the invention of the superworldwide interwebhighway!?

Stranger: what in the hell do a mere potatoe have anything to doo with the freaking internet

You: No, not *a* potato. I am potatoeS. The whole of my being is made up of 7 separate potatoes working together to establish sentience matching that of one human of above-average intelligence. That aside, however, I went to great lengths to achieve the invention and patent of the Internet as we know it, and to this day, I use this technology and marvel at my own genius.

Stranger: .....

You: That's how most of the world reacts upon the realization of the truth behind my masterpiece. Just soak it in, son.

Stranger: ..........

You: Take your time.

Stranger:  nothing to respond to how dumb you sound

You: Or is your speechlessness merely a result of the restriction placed upon your vocabulary and thought processes due to the limitations of your own intelligence?

Stranger: as much as that may be true

You: Ah, but it is. It is simple as that.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Have you found Jesus?, A Wild Omegle Appears!and Double-own. 

Efficiency - works best with no bullshit.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hiii

You: no i will not have sex with you

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like She'sAFishButNotReally, Concoction of the Day, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell

The Muffin Man!!!

Emailedin by one of our readers, the gritty J Macguire.

You: hey

Stranger: do you know the muffin man?

You: the muffin man?

Stranger: the muffin man!

You: who's gagging on my cock?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like She'sAFishButNotReally, Concoction of the Day, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell

Definitions - the difference between a cock (rooster) and a cock (you.), is only a conversation away.

Emailed in by one of our readers, the darkly hilarious AC SuperStar.
Stranger: Hi

You: This is the synthetic Season

Stranger: Ok

You: :D

Stranger: Asl

You: Infinity/Neither/Everywhere

Stranger: I like it XD

You:  ;)

You: By being everywhere, that means im inside you aswell >:]

Stranger: Oooo I like that more

You: Asl?

Stranger: Do u want to talk dirty

You: DIRT

You: MUD

You: SOIL

You: Is that good?

Stranger: Ok do u want to talk sexy

You: ASS RAPE

You: SELF MUTILATION

You: BONDAGE

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like funChat #1,Shocker #1, Shocker #2, Shocker #3, or Shocker #4.

Note to self - Jewing someone our of their pedobear ownage makes you a...

  Emailed in by one of our readers, the incomprehensable Daga Bubu.

You: hi

Stranger: horny 26 yo guy looking for teen to meet up with

You: f?

You:

………………….._,,-~’’’¯¯¯’’~-,,
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..…………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ , , , , , , ,( : : : : , , , ,’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|AND RIPE!
……….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’, , , , , , , , ,’~---~’’ , , , , , ,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
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…..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;_,,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
………’’~-,,_ ; ; ; ; _,,,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
………..| ; ; ;¯¯’’’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,,-‘
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…………| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|
…………’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ~-,,___ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘….’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
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……….,’ ; ;’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ,,-‘…………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
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……..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,,-‘………………………’’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…………………………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’
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……..| ; ; ; ; ; ;,’……………………….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
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………’,,’,¯,’,’’|……………………….| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘--,,
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……………………………………………’’-,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’~-,,
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……………………………………………………’-, ; ; ;,,-~’’’ , ,|, |
………………………………………………………’’~-‘’_ , , ,,’,_/--‘

Stranger: damn

Stranger: i was gonna do that...

Stranger:  nigger.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like She'sAFishButNotReally, Concoction of the Day, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell

Self esteem - being demolished on the internet since conception.

 Emailed in by one of our readers, the unstoppable Cara Connor.

Stranger: u a girl that wants to cam? I'm a hot guy I promise

You: Show me a pic first

Stranger: k hang on

You: i'm waiting

Stranger: http://www.mediafire.com/?mmktiygmurz

Stranger: had to upload something

Stranger: all my pics are on facebook

Stranger: this was at panera bread

You: Cool

You: Sorry i hav a slow computer haha

Stranger: no prob

You: oh i cant download anything on this computer

You: can u upload it on tinypic.com?

Stranger: ok I'll try that

You: haha thanks dorry to be a burden :P

Stranger: sry this is taking so long

You: :(

You: me too sweetie

You: i just need to check your not one of those guys that take advantage of me

Stranger: http://tinypic.com/r/2chkt3b/6

Stranger: smoking a cigar in the morning

You: omg yuur hott

You: Ill just show u a pic of me then we can get busy :P

Stranger: ok nice

Stranger: I'm waiting :)

You: lol sorry :(

You: i lost my tinypic acc i have to upload it again dont worry its worth it, ill thank you reaaallly kindly on cam ;)

Stranger: :)

You: http://i49.tinypic.com/k34q5j.jpg

You: there we goo

You: Lmfao. Just kidding http://i45.tinypic.com/2lmw3h1.jpg That's the real me. Still looking to cam, sweetheart?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like funChat #1,Shocker #1, Shocker #2, Shocker #3, or Shocker #4.

Cries for help remain muffled on the internet...in other news, the quest for cybersex remains on the rise! :D

Emailed in by one of our readers, the darkly funny Antichristsuperstar.
Stranger: hi

You: OMG

You: OMG

You: YES

You: OHHH

You: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

You: hi

Stranger: hmm

Stranger: hi

Stranger: asll

You: :( my dad beat my mum with those words..

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like funChat #1,Shocker #1, Shocker #2, Shocker #3, or Shocker #4.

Note to self - Incest > Twilight.

 Emailed in by one of our readers, the lovely Emily Rich.

Stranger: you like incest?

You: you like twilight?

Your conversational partner has disconeccted.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like funChat #1,Shocker #1, Shocker #2, Shocker #3, or Shocker #4.

Celebrating the big 100!

We passed 100 Lolmegles!

Complete the sentence: The Lolmegle boys.. Are Geniuses! (Hooray!) Have massive dicks. (it's true) Are massive dicks. (also true) Made me fail my exams. Need to leave the internet. My dick. Current Results

After all it wouldnt be the Nazi party without the "party".

Emailed in by one of our readers, the terrifying TerriM

You: 卐

Stranger: hi i'm luke 24 male

You: 卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐

You: GUTEN TAG LUKE

You: ICH LIEBE DICH 

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Cybermon...I choost you!, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell?

Intolerance Pt. 8

  Emailed in by one of our readers, the terrifying Terri M.

Stranger: hi 18male istanbul and you?

You: noooo thankyou

You have disconeccted.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Cybermon...I choost you!, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell?

The strong never give up, the irritating never give you up.

Emailed in by one of our readers, the Hman.

You: hi

You: please entertain me

Stranger: pedobear welcomes you :)

You: :D

You: Hi pedo bear!

You: im nice and ripe, i promise

Stranger: cool, i can trust you right?

You: sure!

Stranger: okey, so i'm going to tell you a secret

You: oh, go on

Stranger: I'm from Norway, but don't tell anyone

You: hmm, ok then

Stranger: because it scares them

You: ok, sure

You: can i tell you a secret?

Stranger: sure

You: There once was a man who was old
he drank beer when it got cold
He picked up his cup
said 'Never gonna give you up"

You: .................................................. ............,-~~'''''''~~--,,_

.................................................. ........................,-~''-,:::::::::::::::::::''-,
.................................................. ....................,~''::::::::',::::::: :::::::::::::|',
.................................................. ...................|::::::,-~'''___''''~~--~''':}
.................................................. ...................'|:::::|: : : : : : : : : : : : : :
.................................................. ...................|:::::|: : :-~~---: : : -----: |
.................................................. ..................(_''~-': : : ::: : : : : :
.................................................. ..................'''~-,|: : : : : : ~---': : : :,'--NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP
.................................................. .......................|,: : : : : :-~~--: : ::/ --NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN!
.................................................. ..................,-''':: :'~,,_: : : : : _,-'
.................................................. ............__,-';;;;;:''-,: : : :'~---~''/|
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............,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'....../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;|.|:|::::::::::::::|;;;;;',;;;;;;;;;''-,: : : : : :'''~-,:'''~~--,
.........../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'......,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;|:|:|::::::::::::::',;;;;;;|_''''~--,,-~---,,___,-~~'''__''~-
........,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'......../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;|:|:|:::::::::::::::|;;;;;;|.................. ...''-,_''-,''-,''~
......../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/.......,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;|:|:|:::::::::::::::|;;;;;|................ .............._''

You: Dirty norwegian....

You have disconnected.

 

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Cybermon...I choost you!, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell?

Intolerance Pt. 7

Stranger: hey

You: hi

Stranger: asl?

Stranger: plz

You: i'm hesitant to give out my asl on here, people tend to judge :(

You: are you going to judge me?

Stranger: nope

Stranger: i'm 22/m 

You: :)

Stranger: cambodia, if that helps

You: ARRGGHH, THATS FUCKING DISGUSTING.

You: if you wanted to help you should have followed it up with an "and I'm just about to get shot."

Stranger: fucker

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like She'sAFishButNotReally, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans, What does that spell? and check out ourWeekly Poll!

It warms my heart when encountering 12 year olds on the internet. I guess he was a little TEST-ty HAHAHAHA, HAHAHAH, AHAHA, AHA.

Emailed in by one of our readers, MattyC

Stranger: hi

You: hey asl?

Stranger: do you like pokemon?

Stranger: 23 m usa

You: nah but i like poking your mom

Stranger: mate, at least i am not a test tube baby

Stranger: and i have a mom

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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Note to self - It does take one to know one.

  Emailed in by one of our readers, the ever purple Barney.

You: I don't like black people

Stranger: why not?

You: they have slitty eyes

Stranger: I thought those were asians

You: Racist!

You have disconnected.

 

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like She'sAFishButNotReally, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans, What does that spell? and check out ourWeekly Poll!