28/02/2010

Update: Lolmegle's back! We've had a busy busy month, but we're back on track with an inbox overflowing with lolmegles. We thank you for your hilarious submissions, there's some great original skits coming through and we're proud to share them with you.

Expect more hilarity this month, and remember if you haven't already...

Follow us on twitter here (the registering process takes a grand total of 15 seconds). We've reached our target and are working hard at the new site, our fanbase is growing and we really less than three you guys to death...bloody, bloody death.

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Sunday, November 29, 2009

Disturbia - Either he didn't get it... or he really, really did.


Emailed in by one of our readers, Mark The Great.
You: hey
Stranger: hi
You: asl?
Stranger: female?
You: yep
You: 19/ f / uk
You: you?
Stranger: nice
Stranger: 20 m cali
You: wanna cyber?
Stranger: unfortunately i dont hav it
Stranger: can see your pic
Stranger: instead of cyber
You: I wanna cyber....
You: im 5"8, brunette, 3B
You: hot to trot & horney
Stranger: nice2
You: you want to start? or will I ;-)
Stranger: man, i cant cyber right now
Stranger: shuut
You: awwwwh
Stranger: damn it
You: But I have a calcium deffiency, and i want to lick your neck to find out if its a potential source of delecious calcium
You: then I can work wonders to you dick with my lizzard tail
You: ?
Stranger: owh.. suck cock pussssyyyyy
You: im so wet
Stranger: im so stiff babbby
You: touching my dripping clit appendage
You: it tastes so good, like calcium
Stranger: do u hav any pic baby???
You: im in work
You: no pic sorry hunny
Stranger: yea, blow my fucking cock babbee
You: My lizzard tail slides up your ass, and I devoure a near by locust
You: while i suck your dick
Stranger: oooohwww yeaaahhh.. let grab your ass!!
You: my tongue slides over your dick
Stranger: suck it up!!!
Stranger: suck it up!!!
You: and i suck out one of your balls
You: i feel you getting harder
You: and I shit all over a rock
You: and you cum in my ear
Stranger: suck your nipples!!!!!!
You: Im licking my lizzard nipples
You: and they're so hard and cold
Stranger: let me get it warmed babe
Stranger: i grab your boobs!!!!!
Stranger: licking to your pussy right now
You: you finger me, and I snap off your fingers with my really strong lizzard ass
You: and you lick them out
Stranger: yeaaaah
You: and swallow them
Stranger: my dick ready to get u now
You: oh yeah?
You: not if I chew it off as a food source!
You: Im so hungry
Stranger: oh yeah
Stranger: then come in
You: eating all the local floura and fauna
You: do you want to lick my lizzard cock?
You: its so slippy
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like funChat #1,Shocker #1Francais aime le cyberShocker #3Note to self - Omegler's momma's...no go..

Thursday, November 26, 2009

The culturally unaware Omegler Pt. 3


Stranger: hi
You: hello
You: how are you?
Stranger: fine...
You: that's good
Stranger: where do u from?
You: why the "..."
You: from sydney
You: and yourself?
Stranger: china
Stranger: how old r u
You: oh interesting!
You: im 19, and you?
Stranger: why interesting?
Stranger: i'm older than u...21
You: that's nice
You: are you a student or working?
Stranger: student...senior
You: studying?
Stranger: what about u?
Stranger: yeah....
You: im a student too, just finished my first year
You: studying economics
Stranger: university...majoring finance
Stranger: oh.....we're just the same
You: yep!
You: do you speak korean?
Stranger: no....
You: oh, how come?
Stranger: just chinese and engilish
You: i thought you were chinese?
You: are you half or something
Stranger: english...
You: half english?
Stranger: what does half of something mean?
You: like s one of your parents from a different country
Stranger: no...i can speak chinese and english....
You: what's chinese?
Stranger: i can not speak korean
You: you're chinese
You: chinese is not a language
Stranger: no...just chinese...hehe
You: im confused?
Stranger: r u half of some country?
You: chinese people are supposed to be speaking korean aren't they?
Stranger: no......
Stranger: why do u think so?
You: .......hmmm, i think you may be mistaken
You: anyway do you live close to the eiffel tower?
You: can you see it from your house?
Stranger: yeah,,korea is next to china...but u know that china is a big country
Stranger: i live so far away from krean
You: okay....
You: what about the eiffel tower?
Stranger: eiffek tower?honey......it's in france
You: .....
You: are you sure you're chinese? :P
Stranger: yeah ....of course i'm
Stranger: i can spell chinese words, do u what have a look?
You: well do your parents atleast make some authentic mexican food :)
Stranger: do u know where china is ?
You: just south of atlantis right?
You: i think you're trying to fool me
Stranger: asia....u know that?
You: but you have to wake up alot earlier to get me
Stranger: yeah...
You: okay okay
You: we can atleast agree on one thing right
Stranger: which university r u in?
Stranger: hah '
You: like if there's one thing about china that everyone knows
Stranger: what?
You: it's that all chinese men have really tiny penis's amirite?
You: yea?
You: you with me on this one?
Stranger: fuck you piece of shit
Stranger: dog fucker
You: check it up on lemonparty.org, check the atlas's too
You: it says china is just south of atlantis
Stranger: r u a boy or girl?
You: .a boy
You: you?
Stranger: girl
You: so you agree with me, chinese men have very small penis's...
You: alrightio then..
Stranger: this is disgusting, you disgusting dog fucker
You: don't chinese people eat dogs....so you've just taste my dick muthafuckaaa!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like funChat #1,funChat #2The culturally unaware Omegler Pt.2, and The culturally unaware Omegler Pt.1.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009


Emailed in by one of our readers, Kien.
Stranger: zach??
You: want to hear a knock knock joke
Stranger: uhmm okay :)
You: knock knock
Stranger: whos there?
You: disconnect
Stranger: disconnect who?
You: disconnect you.
You have disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Knock Knock #1What does that spell? and The Racistinator: The Jew.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The game...I lost it again.


You: hii
Stranger: hope youre a girl.
Stranger: hope you like sex.
You: yes? :)
You: hahaha who doesn't ;)
Stranger: hope you like having a 9 inch dick in your mouth.
You: hope you like a big black dick in your mouth
You: god damn it..
Stranger: damn you were so clos.e
You: you win this time.
You: i'll be back though.
Stranger: oh yes you will. :]
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like funChat #1,Shocker #1Francais aime le cyberShocker #3Note to self - Omegler's momma's...no go..

...so much blood.



Stranger: hello!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: hi
You: hey!
You: asl?
Stranger: 22/m/usa
Stranger: u?
You: cool cool
You: 19/f/sydney
Stranger: nice
Stranger: u going to college?
You: university yes :)
Stranger: cool
Stranger: u live there or at home?
You: soorry but are you in the mood for cybering?
Stranger: mhmm
Stranger: u?
You: yersss
You: need a quickie :P
Stranger: i'dlike that
Stranger: have webcam?
You: unfortunately i dont go onto messenger until a guy turns me on this first ;)
Stranger: sounds fair :)
Stranger: wat can i do?
You: well to be straightforward
You: i'd like to be fucked hard
Stranger: my dick is hard
Stranger: i am just wearing boxers
You: in my butt?
Stranger: yes
Stranger: i am rubbing your tits
You: cradle my balls?
You: choke on my dick?
You: yesssss
You: mmmmmm
You: rupture your esophagus?
You: hrrrgghhhhhhhh
You: HRRRGGGHHHHHH
You: NNYYYEAAAHHHH
Stranger: u like that?
Stranger: mm
You: so...much...blood...
Stranger: am i turning u on?
You: im calling the ambulance
You: oh god
You: im trembling
You: as your lifeless body stares up at me
Stranger: am i turning u on?
You: what do i do? call the ambulance, or do i hide the body?
You: the clock is ticking
You: a decision has to be made
You: i figure you're already dead, so i decide to hide the body.
You: the job needs to be done quickly, i grab my chainsaw...
You: tears trickling down my face I start hacking your legs, but you're awake!
You: REEAAARRRGGHH NOOOOOOOOO you scream as your dick explodes
You: ....so much blood.
Stranger: .......wow...just wow.
You: ...I'm going to fuck you till you love me faggot.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.


If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Cybermon...I choost you!The Racistinator...The JewGod damn North Koreans and What does that spell?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Intolerance Pt. 4


You: hii
Stranger: asl?
Stranger: hey :P
You: grr just got out of a convo with a frustrating racist.
You: i hate racism.
You: 19/f/sydney
You: you?
Stranger: hehe me too
Stranger: 25 male norway
You: you know what I hate more than racism
You: ?
Stranger: no?
You: dirty norwegians.
You have disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch, you may also like Intolerance Pt. 1Intolerance Pt.2, Intolerance Pt.3Have you found Jesus?  and Sexism on omegle.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Shocker! Pt. 4


Emailed in by one of our readers, KH.
You: heyyy:)
Stranger: suppers!
You: goddamnt
Stranger: wat
You: would you kindly stop being a troll
You: i've been on here all night trying to find a nice guy
Stranger: um ima 6'1
You: all i get is fucking trolls
Stranger: ima tall not a troll and a dude soooo...
You: wait,
You: you don't understand?
Stranger: im jusyt asking wats up thats all
You: oh
Stranger: thats wat suppers is
You: I thought you were trying to act stupid
You: OH
You: im sorry
Stranger: thanks
You: my name's katelyn, whats yours?
Stranger: stephan
You: hi stephen
Stranger: hi katelyn
Stranger: and its a a not an e
You: how old are you?
Stranger: 18
You: oops, sorry
Stranger: wbu
You: awesome, I just turned 18 a few days ago
Stranger: culio i turned last month happy kinda lat eb-day
You: heehee, well, do you mind me asking what you're on here for?
Stranger: im bored u ?
You: well, have you seen the movie Zombieland?
Stranger: nah i was goin to but all my friends were bizzy
You: thats fine, but you see, i get on here a lot to roleplay cyber sex with guys
You: and this guy in the movie, he looked just like my old boyfriend
Stranger: to role play like fake cyber
You: yeah, its where you tell a sexy story together and masturbate
Stranger: yah i know that but role play
You: thats just the story part
Stranger: interesting i get on some times just to cyber
You: anyhow, i was thinking how cool it would be to be the last people on earth, having sex with all the zombies around
Stranger: why would you wanna have sex wit a zombie its dick ll fall off
You: no silly, we are normal people, and we have to have sex, because we have to keep people living
You: so we have to try to make it sexy, but really it is our only choice
Stranger: so fro the human race to survive we have to have sex non stop
Stranger: sounds like fun
You: yeah
You: well, would you like to try, i'm sweating just thinking about it
Stranger: mkay you can start
You: well, we are walking around in our house, and I am making dinner
Stranger: i come up behind you and throw you on the couch
You: hold on, honey!
You: you just got home, you need to take your medicine so you dont become a zombie
Stranger: blah blah
You: i'll be waiting, my love
Stranger: i go take the medicine and come back and kiss you sort on the lips working down your neck
Stranger: soft *
You: i moan, and start to undress you
Stranger: i help you take of my cloths and start pull up your shirt and pants
Stranger: i slolwy y pull of your panties
Stranger: and kiss your belly and work my way down
Stranger: i lick your clit
Stranger: flicking it with my toung
You: suddenly a huge glob of green slimy shit pours all over your face from my violently spewing vagina, I scream BOOMER!!!!!! and begin puking green slime all over the place! Suddenly an entire horde of zombies runs into the house and we gang rape you as your scream and roll around in the slime. You have been incapacitated by a boomer.
You: We proceed to tear apart your corpse, bodily fluids covering the once clean carpet.
You: You try to scream, but you can't manage out anything more than a tear.
Stranger: then the zombies turn on you
You: AND I LOVE IT
Stranger: fucking you harder then anything ever
You: NOTHING LIKE 20 ZOMBIE COCKS
Stranger: going deeper and penatraiting you you scream in pleasure
You: AND PUKE MORE
Stranger: they cum in you your having zombie babyes now
Stranger: they tare yuo apart form the inside out
You: RIP STEPHAN
Stranger: RIP katelyn
You: I love you.
Stranger: love you too wish we coulda gotten farhter
Stranger: you woulda loved it
Stranger: but the zombies got me
Stranger: damn
You: If you thought this was funny, you should check out my website: lemonparty.org
You: I do this to guys ALL the time
Stranger: lol i bet most leave
You: You're welcome, I'll see you later, mmmkay?
Stranger: wait dod you do that one on lolmegle
Stranger: where you killed the dude and fucked its lifeless corpse
You: yup
You: YES
You: ALL OF THEM
Stranger: dude
You: I AM THE OMEGLE RAPIST
Stranger: culll
Stranger: kk by
You: later.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like funChat #1,Shocker #1Shocker #2Shocker #3Note to self - Omegler's momma's...no go..

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Concoction of the day - Integrity with a dash of irony.


Emailed in by one of our readers, Kien.
Stranger: hello
You: hi
You: i have a question............?
You: how do u hide a body
Stranger: like uhm.. burying it.
You: but like i dont want anyone to find it, should i pour petrol on it
Stranger: yeah but someone could notice it. and petrol stinks >>
Stranger: you can take it far far far away.
You: hmmm ur soo right, maybe i should drive to a forest
You: wait ......hold on a second..............if the police find the bodies i might actually get a reward
Stranger: then the trees would it the body u_u
Stranger: oh right. you can be the one who found the body! you can be the hero!
You: nah......cause they'd be like, u killed one of those dam jews. doing this city a favour, helping to stop the rodent infestation
You: :)
You: like dominatrix uses pain to derive sexual pleasure
Stranger: omg. you're a disgusting racist.
Your conversational partner has disconnected


If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like She'sAFishButNotReally, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell?

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Intolerance Pt. 3


Emailed in by one of our readers, Robrob.
Stranger: hey
You: hi
Stranger: asl..??
You: 19faustralia :)
You: you?
Stranger: 14 indonesia, too young..???????
You: nah not too young
You: too asian.
You have disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch, you may also like Intolerance Pt. 1, Intolerance Pt.2, Have you found Jesus?  and Sexism on omegle.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Initially I wasn't going to put this up...but he gave me 5 poun.


Emailed in by one of our readers, L2H...with 5 poun attached.
Stranger: haiii!
You: YOU BUY DVD FO FIVE POUN?
You:  IT HAS WILL SMIT
You: VERY SEXY LADY
You: 5 POUND
You: HE LOVE U LONG TIME
Stranger: 7 pounds i will give you!
You: NO 5 POUN,
You: NO CHEAP SKATES 5 POUND IROBOT
Stranger: SON OF A BITCH 7 POUNDS!
You: GWENITH POWTRO
Stranger: Where you from?
You: CHINA BUT I NEED TO SELL DVD
Stranger: Where can i drop the 5 dollah
Stranger: Where do you sell it?
You: RIGHT HERE, U WANNA BUY DVD?
You: 5 POUN
You: HE LOVE U LONG TIME
You: WILL SMIT
Stranger: GIVE IT
You: NO U GIVE ME MONEY
You: I GIVE DVD
Stranger: CHEAP CHINESE BASTARDS
You: U BUY IT 5 POUN
You: IT GOOD PRICE!
Stranger: Here, take your 5 pounds
You: IT GOOD PRICE GARUNTEE
You:  OH WHY FANK U
You: HERE IS YO DVD, IT VERY GOOD
You: YOU WILL ENJOY.
Stranger: TELL YOUR MOMMA TO SUCKY SUCKY FO FIVE DOLLAH
You: NO WE NO SUCKY O FUCKY WE DVD
You: DVD FO 5 POUN
You: WILL SMIT
Stranger:  I DONT LIKE NIGGERS!
You: WE HAV GEOG CWOONY

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Have you found Jesus?, A Wild Omegle Appears!and Double-own.

Note to self - A little competition hurts everybody.


You: hii
Stranger: here is 23 yrold horny man looking for a horny girl that is upper 18 and wants cybering to cam to cam on msn
You: well im 19 ;)
You: good enough
You: ?
Stranger: yeap
Stranger: do you have msn
You: how bigs your dick? ;)
Stranger: please wait
Stranger: sorry
Stranger: 21 cm do you want to see
You: HA! im beating you by 5 muthafuckaaaa
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Note to self - Omegler's mommas...no go, To assume is to fail and Intolerance Pt. 2.