Disturbia - Either he didn't get it... or he really, really did.

Emailed in by one of our readers, Mark The Great.

You: hey

Stranger: hi

You: asl?

Stranger: female?

You: yep

You: 19/ f / uk

You: you?

Stranger: nice

Stranger: 20 m cali

You: wanna cyber?

Stranger: unfortunately i dont hav it

Stranger: can see your pic

Stranger: instead of cyber

You: I wanna cyber....

You: im 5"8, brunette, 3B

You: hot to trot & horney

Stranger: nice2

You: you want to start? or will I ;-)

Stranger: man, i cant cyber right now

Stranger: shuut

You: awwwwh

Stranger: damn it

You: But I have a calcium deffiency, and i want to lick your neck to find out if its a potential source of delecious calcium

You: then I can work wonders to you dick with my lizzard tail

You: ?

Stranger: owh.. suck cock pussssyyyyy

You: im so wet

Stranger: im so stiff babbby

You: touching my dripping clit appendage

You: it tastes so good, like calcium

Stranger: do u hav any pic baby???

You: im in work

You: no pic sorry hunny

Stranger: yea, blow my fucking cock babbee

You: My lizzard tail slides up your ass, and I devoure a near by locust

You: while i suck your dick

Stranger: oooohwww yeaaahhh.. let grab your ass!!

You: my tongue slides over your dick

Stranger: suck it up!!!

Stranger: suck it up!!!

You: and i suck out one of your balls

You: i feel you getting harder

You: and I shit all over a rock

You: and you cum in my ear

Stranger: suck your nipples!!!!!!

You: Im licking my lizzard nipples

You: and they're so hard and cold

Stranger: let me get it warmed babe

Stranger: i grab your boobs!!!!!

Stranger: licking to your pussy right now

You: you finger me, and I snap off your fingers with my really strong lizzard ass

You: and you lick them out

Stranger: yeaaaah

You: and swallow them

Stranger: my dick ready to get u now

You: oh yeah?

You: not if I chew it off as a food source!

You: Im so hungry

Stranger: oh yeah

Stranger: then come in

You: eating all the local floura and fauna

You: do you want to lick my lizzard cock?

You: its so slippy

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like funChat #1,Shocker #1, Francais aime le cyber, Shocker #3, Note to self - Omegler's momma's...no go..

The culturally unaware Omegler Pt. 3

Stranger: hi

You: hello

You: how are you?

Stranger: fine...

You: that's good

Stranger: where do u from?

You: why the "..."

You: from sydney

You: and yourself?

Stranger: china

Stranger: how old r u

You: oh interesting!

You: im 19, and you?

Stranger: why interesting?

Stranger: i'm older than u...21

You: that's nice

You: are you a student or working?

Stranger: student...senior

You: studying?

Stranger: what about u?

Stranger: yeah....

You: im a student too, just finished my first year

You: studying economics

Stranger: university...majoring finance

Stranger: oh.....we're just the same

You: yep!

You: do you speak korean?

Stranger: no....

You: oh, how come?

Stranger: just chinese and engilish

You: i thought you were chinese?

You: are you half or something

Stranger: english...

You: half english?

Stranger: what does half of something mean?

You: like s one of your parents from a different country

Stranger: no...i can speak chinese and english....

You: what's chinese?

Stranger: i can not speak korean

You: you're chinese

You: chinese is not a language

Stranger: no...just chinese...hehe

You: im confused?

Stranger: r u half of some country?

You: chinese people are supposed to be speaking korean aren't they?

Stranger: no......

Stranger: why do u think so?

You: .......hmmm, i think you may be mistaken

You: anyway do you live close to the eiffel tower?

You: can you see it from your house?

Stranger: yeah,,korea is next to china...but u know that china is a big country

Stranger: i live so far away from krean

You: okay....

You: what about the eiffel tower?

Stranger: eiffek tower?honey......it's in france

You: .....

You: are you sure you're chinese? :P

Stranger: yeah ....of course i'm

Stranger: i can spell chinese words, do u what have a look?

You: well do your parents atleast make some authentic mexican food :)

Stranger: do u know where china is ?

You: just south of atlantis right?

You: i think you're trying to fool me

Stranger: asia....u know that?

You: but you have to wake up alot earlier to get me

Stranger: yeah...

You: okay okay

You: we can atleast agree on one thing right

Stranger: which university r u in?

Stranger: hah '

You: like if there's one thing about china that everyone knows

Stranger: what?

You: it's that all chinese men have really tiny penis's amirite?

You: yea?

You: you with me on this one?

Stranger: fuck you piece of shit

Stranger: dog fucker

You: check it up on lemonparty.org, check the atlas's too

You: it says china is just south of atlantis

Stranger: r u a boy or girl?

You: .a boy

You: you?

Stranger: girl

You: so you agree with me, chinese men have very small penis's...

You: alrightio then..

Stranger: this is disgusting, you disgusting dog fucker

You: don't chinese people eat dogs....so you've just taste my dick muthafuckaaa!

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like funChat #1,funChat #2, The culturally unaware Omegler Pt.2, and The culturally unaware Omegler Pt.1.

Emailed in by one of our readers, Kien.

Stranger: zach??

You: want to hear a knock knock joke

Stranger: uhmm okay :)

You: knock knock

Stranger: whos there?

You: disconnect

Stranger: disconnect who?

You: disconnect you.

You have disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Knock Knock #1, What does that spell? and The Racistinator: The Jew.

The game...I lost it again.

You: hii

Stranger: hope youre a girl.

Stranger: hope you like sex.

You: yes? :)

You: hahaha who doesn't ;)

Stranger: hope you like having a 9 inch dick in your mouth.

You: hope you like a big black dick in your mouth

You: god damn it..

Stranger: damn you were so clos.e

You: you win this time.

You: i'll be back though.

Stranger: oh yes you will. :]

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like funChat #1,Shocker #1, Francais aime le cyber, Shocker #3, Note to self - Omegler's momma's...no go..

...so much blood.

Stranger: hello!

Stranger: hi

Stranger: hi

You: hey!

You: asl?

Stranger: 22/m/usa

Stranger: u?

You: cool cool

You: 19/f/sydney

Stranger: nice

Stranger: u going to college?

You: university yes :)

Stranger: cool

Stranger: u live there or at home?

You: soorry but are you in the mood for cybering?

Stranger: mhmm

Stranger: u?

You: yersss

You: need a quickie :P

Stranger: i'dlike that

Stranger: have webcam?

You: unfortunately i dont go onto messenger until a guy turns me on this first ;)

Stranger: sounds fair :)

Stranger: wat can i do?

You: well to be straightforward

You: i'd like to be fucked hard

Stranger: my dick is hard

Stranger: i am just wearing boxers

You: in my butt?

Stranger: yes

Stranger: i am rubbing your tits

You: cradle my balls?

You: choke on my dick?

You: yesssss

You: mmmmmm

You: rupture your esophagus?

You: hrrrgghhhhhhhh

You: HRRRGGGHHHHHH

You: NNYYYEAAAHHHH

Stranger: u like that?

Stranger: mm

You: so...much...blood...

Stranger: am i turning u on?

You: im calling the ambulance

You: oh god

You: im trembling

You: as your lifeless body stares up at me

Stranger: am i turning u on?

You: what do i do? call the ambulance, or do i hide the body?

You: the clock is ticking

You: a decision has to be made

You: i figure you're already dead, so i decide to hide the body.

You: the job needs to be done quickly, i grab my chainsaw...

You: tears trickling down my face I start hacking your legs, but you're awake!

You: REEAAARRRGGHH NOOOOOOOOO you scream as your dick explodes

You: ....so much blood.

Stranger: .......wow...just wow.

You: ...I'm going to fuck you till you love me faggot.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Cybermon...I choost you!, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell?

Intolerance Pt. 4

You: hii

Stranger: asl?

Stranger: hey :P

You: grr just got out of a convo with a frustrating racist.

You: i hate racism.

You: 19/f/sydney

You: you?

Stranger: hehe me too

Stranger: 25 male norway

You: you know what I hate more than racism

You: ?

Stranger: no?

You: dirty norwegians.

You have disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch, you may also like Intolerance Pt. 1, Intolerance Pt.2, Intolerance Pt.3, Have you found Jesus?  and Sexism on omegle.

Shocker! Pt. 4

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Concoction of the day - Integrity with a dash of irony.

Emailed in by one of our readers, Kien.
Stranger: hello

You: hi

You: i have a question............?

You: how do u hide a body

Stranger: like uhm.. burying it.

You: but like i dont want anyone to find it, should i pour petrol on it

Stranger: yeah but someone could notice it. and petrol stinks >>

Stranger: you can take it far far far away.

You: hmmm ur soo right, maybe i should drive to a forest

You: wait ......hold on a second..............if the police find the bodies i might actually get a reward

Stranger: then the trees would it the body u_u

Stranger: oh right. you can be the one who found the body! you can be the hero!

You: nah......cause they'd be like, u killed one of those dam jews. doing this city a favour, helping to stop the rodent infestation

You: :)

You: like dominatrix uses pain to derive sexual pleasure

Stranger: omg. you're a disgusting racist.

Your conversational partner has disconnected

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like She'sAFishButNotReally, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell?

Intolerance Pt. 3

Emailed in by one of our readers, Robrob.

Stranger: hey

You: hi

Stranger: asl..??

You: 19faustralia :)

You: you?

Stranger: 14 indonesia, too young..???????

You: nah not too young

You: too asian.

You have disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch, you may also like Intolerance Pt. 1, Intolerance Pt.2, Have you found Jesus?  and Sexism on omegle.

Initially I wasn't going to put this up...but he gave me 5 poun.

Emailed in by one of our readers, L2H...with 5 poun attached.

Stranger: haiii!

You: YOU BUY DVD FO FIVE POUN?

You:  IT HAS WILL SMIT

You: VERY SEXY LADY

You: 5 POUND

You: HE LOVE U LONG TIME

Stranger: 7 pounds i will give you!

You: NO 5 POUN,

You: NO CHEAP SKATES 5 POUND IROBOT

Stranger: SON OF A BITCH 7 POUNDS!

You: GWENITH POWTRO

Stranger: Where you from?

You: CHINA BUT I NEED TO SELL DVD

Stranger: Where can i drop the 5 dollah

Stranger: Where do you sell it?

You: RIGHT HERE, U WANNA BUY DVD?

You: 5 POUN

You: HE LOVE U LONG TIME

You: WILL SMIT

Stranger: GIVE IT

You: NO U GIVE ME MONEY

You: I GIVE DVD

Stranger: CHEAP CHINESE BASTARDS

You: U BUY IT 5 POUN

You: IT GOOD PRICE!

Stranger: Here, take your 5 pounds

You: IT GOOD PRICE GARUNTEE

You:  OH WHY FANK U

You: HERE IS YO DVD, IT VERY GOOD

You: YOU WILL ENJOY.

Stranger: TELL YOUR MOMMA TO SUCKY SUCKY FO FIVE DOLLAH

You: NO WE NO SUCKY O FUCKY WE DVD

You: DVD FO 5 POUN

You: WILL SMIT

Stranger:  I DONT LIKE NIGGERS!

You: WE HAV GEOG CWOONY

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Have you found Jesus?, A Wild Omegle Appears!and Double-own.

Note to self - A little competition hurts everybody.

You: hii

Stranger: here is 23 yrold horny man looking for a horny girl that is upper 18 and wants cybering to cam to cam on msn

You: well im 19 ;)

You: good enough

You: ?

Stranger: yeap

Stranger: do you have msn

You: how bigs your dick? ;)

Stranger: please wait

Stranger: sorry

Stranger: 21 cm do you want to see

You: HA! im beating you by 5 muthafuckaaaa

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Note to self - Omegler's mommas...no go, To assume is to fail and Intolerance Pt. 2.