Definitions - the difference between a cock (rooster) and a cock (you.), is only a conversation away.

Emailed in by one of our readers, the darkly hilarious AC SuperStar.
Stranger: Hi

You: This is the synthetic Season

Stranger: Ok

You: :D

Stranger: Asl

You: Infinity/Neither/Everywhere

Stranger: I like it XD

You:  ;)

You: By being everywhere, that means im inside you aswell >:]

Stranger: Oooo I like that more

You: Asl?

Stranger: Do u want to talk dirty

You: DIRT

You: MUD

You: SOIL

You: Is that good?

Stranger: Ok do u want to talk sexy

You: ASS RAPE

You: SELF MUTILATION

You: BONDAGE

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like funChat #1,Shocker #1, Shocker #2, Shocker #3, or Shocker #4.

Note to self - Jewing someone our of their pedobear ownage makes you a...

  Emailed in by one of our readers, the incomprehensable Daga Bubu.

You: hi

Stranger: horny 26 yo guy looking for teen to meet up with

You: f?

You:

………………….._,,-~’’’¯¯¯’’~-,,
………………..,-‘’ ; ; ;_,,---,,_ ; ;’’-,…………………………….._,,,---,,_
……………….,’ ; ; ;,-‘ , , , , , ‘-, ; ;’-,,,,---~~’’’’’’~--,,,_…..,,-~’’ ; ; ; ;__;’-,
……………….| ; ; ;,’ , , , _,,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯’’~’-,,_ ,,-~’’ , , ‘, ;’,
……………….’, ; ; ‘-, ,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-, , , , , ,’ ; |
…………………’, ; ;,’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-, , ,-‘ ;,-‘
………………….,’-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-‘ ;,,-‘
………………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;__ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,’
………………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’¯: : ’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; _ ; ; ; ; ;’,
……………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| : : : : : ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’¯: ¯’’-, ; ; ;’,
…………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,_: : _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | : : : : : ; ; ; |
……………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-,,_ : :,-‘ ; ; ; ;|
…………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,,-~’’ , , , , ,,,-~~-, , , , _ ; ; ;¯¯ ; ; ; ; ;MMM NICE
..…………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ , , , , , , ,( : : : : , , , ,’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|AND RIPE!
……….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’, , , , , , , , ,’~---~’’ , , , , , ,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
…….,-‘’ ; _, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’~-,,,,--~~’’’¯’’’~-,,_ , ,_,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
….,-‘’-~’’,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; | . . . . . . ,’; ,’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,_ ; ‘-,
……….,’ ; ;,-, ; ;, ; ; ;, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ;’, . . . . .,’ ;,’ ; ; ; ;, ; ; ;,’-, ; ;,’ ‘’~--‘’’
………,’-~’ ,-‘-~’’ ‘, ,-‘ ‘, ,,- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ‘~-,,,-‘’ ; ,’ ; ; ; ; ‘, ;,-‘’ ; ‘, ,-‘,
……….,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ‘’ ; ; ;’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’-,,_ ; ; ; _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ;’-‘’ ; ; ; ‘’ ; ;’-,
……..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;¯¯’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-,
……,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,
…..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|..’-,_ ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’’,-~’ ; ; ; ; ; ,’
…,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’~-,,,,,--~~’’’’’’~-,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…..,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-
…| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
…’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’….’, ; ; ; ; _,,-‘’
….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’~~’’¯
…..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;_,,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
………’’~-,,_ ; ; ; ; _,,,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
………..| ; ; ;¯¯’’’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,,-‘
………..’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
…………| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|
…………’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ~-,,___ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘….’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
………..,’ ‘- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’……….’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
……….,’ ; ;’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ,,-‘…………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’…………………’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |
……..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,,-‘………………………’’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…………………………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’………………………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’’
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ;,’……………………….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
……..’,_ , ; , ;,’……………………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
………’,,’,¯,’,’’|……………………….| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘--,,
………….¯…’’………………………..’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’~,,
……………………………………………’’-,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’~-,,
………………………………………………..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ,,_ ; ;’-,’’-,
…………………………………………………..’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,__,--.
……………………………………………………’-, ; ; ;,,-~’’’ , ,|, |
………………………………………………………’’~-‘’_ , , ,,’,_/--‘

Stranger: damn

Stranger: i was gonna do that...

Stranger:  nigger.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like She'sAFishButNotReally, Concoction of the Day, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell

Self esteem - being demolished on the internet since conception.

 Emailed in by one of our readers, the unstoppable Cara Connor.

Stranger: u a girl that wants to cam? I'm a hot guy I promise

You: Show me a pic first

Stranger: k hang on

You: i'm waiting

Stranger: http://www.mediafire.com/?mmktiygmurz

Stranger: had to upload something

Stranger: all my pics are on facebook

Stranger: this was at panera bread

You: Cool

You: Sorry i hav a slow computer haha

Stranger: no prob

You: oh i cant download anything on this computer

You: can u upload it on tinypic.com?

Stranger: ok I'll try that

You: haha thanks dorry to be a burden :P

Stranger: sry this is taking so long

You: :(

You: me too sweetie

You: i just need to check your not one of those guys that take advantage of me

Stranger: http://tinypic.com/r/2chkt3b/6

Stranger: smoking a cigar in the morning

You: omg yuur hott

You: Ill just show u a pic of me then we can get busy :P

Stranger: ok nice

Stranger: I'm waiting :)

You: lol sorry :(

You: i lost my tinypic acc i have to upload it again dont worry its worth it, ill thank you reaaallly kindly on cam ;)

Stranger: :)

You: http://i49.tinypic.com/k34q5j.jpg

You: there we goo

You: Lmfao. Just kidding http://i45.tinypic.com/2lmw3h1.jpg That's the real me. Still looking to cam, sweetheart?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like funChat #1,Shocker #1, Shocker #2, Shocker #3, or Shocker #4.

Cries for help remain muffled on the internet...in other news, the quest for cybersex remains on the rise! :D

Emailed in by one of our readers, the darkly funny Antichristsuperstar.
Stranger: hi

You: OMG

You: OMG

You: YES

You: OHHH

You: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

You: hi

Stranger: hmm

Stranger: hi

Stranger: asll

You: :( my dad beat my mum with those words..

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like funChat #1,Shocker #1, Shocker #2, Shocker #3, or Shocker #4.

Note to self - Incest > Twilight.

 Emailed in by one of our readers, the lovely Emily Rich.

Stranger: you like incest?

You: you like twilight?

Your conversational partner has disconeccted.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like funChat #1,Shocker #1, Shocker #2, Shocker #3, or Shocker #4.

Celebrating the big 100!

We passed 100 Lolmegles!

Complete the sentence: The Lolmegle boys.. Are Geniuses! (Hooray!) Have massive dicks. (it's true) Are massive dicks. (also true) Made me fail my exams. Need to leave the internet. My dick. Current Results

After all it wouldnt be the Nazi party without the "party".

Emailed in by one of our readers, the terrifying TerriM

You: 卐

Stranger: hi i'm luke 24 male

You: 卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐卐

You: GUTEN TAG LUKE

You: ICH LIEBE DICH 

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Cybermon...I choost you!, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell?

Intolerance Pt. 8

  Emailed in by one of our readers, the terrifying Terri M.

Stranger: hi 18male istanbul and you?

You: noooo thankyou

You have disconeccted.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Cybermon...I choost you!, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell?

The strong never give up, the irritating never give you up.

Emailed in by one of our readers, the Hman.

You: hi

You: please entertain me

Stranger: pedobear welcomes you :)

You: :D

You: Hi pedo bear!

You: im nice and ripe, i promise

Stranger: cool, i can trust you right?

You: sure!

Stranger: okey, so i'm going to tell you a secret

You: oh, go on

Stranger: I'm from Norway, but don't tell anyone

You: hmm, ok then

Stranger: because it scares them

You: ok, sure

You: can i tell you a secret?

Stranger: sure

You: There once was a man who was old
he drank beer when it got cold
He picked up his cup
said 'Never gonna give you up"

You: .................................................. ............,-~~'''''''~~--,,_

.................................................. ........................,-~''-,:::::::::::::::::::''-,
.................................................. ....................,~''::::::::',::::::: :::::::::::::|',
.................................................. ...................|::::::,-~'''___''''~~--~''':}
.................................................. ...................'|:::::|: : : : : : : : : : : : : :
.................................................. ...................|:::::|: : :-~~---: : : -----: |
.................................................. ..................(_''~-': : : ::: : : : : :
.................................................. ..................'''~-,|: : : : : : ~---': : : :,'--NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP
.................................................. .......................|,: : : : : :-~~--: : ::/ --NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN!
.................................................. ..................,-''':: :'~,,_: : : : : _,-'
.................................................. ............__,-';;;;;:''-,: : : :'~---~''/|
.......................................................__,-~'';;;;;;/;;;;;;;: :: : :____/: :',__
........................................ .,-~~~''''_;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',. .''-,:|:::::::|. . |;;;;''-,
......................................,' ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;. . .:::::,'. ./|;;;;;;;;;;;;;|
...................................,-'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',: : |__|. . .|;;;;;;;;;,';;|
.................................,-";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',;;;;;;; ;;;; . . |:::|. . .'',;;;;;;;;|;;/
................................/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;. . |::|. . . |;;;;;;;;|/
............................../;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;; ;;; |..|. . . .|;;;;;;;;|
.........................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;'', |.;|. . . . ;;;;;;;|
..........................,~'';;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;,-'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|. |.;|. . . . .|;;;;;;;|
......................,~'';;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',;;;;;;| |:|. . . . |;;;;;;;|
.....................,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;/;;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;| |:|. . . .'|;;',;;;;;|
....................|;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-';;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;| |:|. . .,';;;;;',;;;;|_
..................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'_;;;;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; |.|:|. . .|;;;;;;;|;;;;|''''~-,
................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/_'',;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ,;;| |:|. . ./;;;;;;;;|;;;|;;;;;;|-,,__
................/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'...|;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;| |:|._,-';;;;;;;;;|;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;'''-,_
............../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'....,';;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;|.|:|::::'''~--~'''||;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;,-~''''~--,
............,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'....../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;|.|:|::::::::::::::|;;;;;',;;;;;;;;;''-,: : : : : :'''~-,:'''~~--,
.........../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'......,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;|:|:|::::::::::::::',;;;;;;|_''''~--,,-~---,,___,-~~'''__''~-
........,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'......../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;|:|:|:::::::::::::::|;;;;;;|.................. ...''-,_''-,''-,''~
......../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/.......,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;|:|:|:::::::::::::::|;;;;;|................ .............._''

You: Dirty norwegian....

You have disconnected.

 

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Cybermon...I choost you!, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell?

Intolerance Pt. 7

Stranger: hey

You: hi

Stranger: asl?

Stranger: plz

You: i'm hesitant to give out my asl on here, people tend to judge :(

You: are you going to judge me?

Stranger: nope

Stranger: i'm 22/m 

You: :)

Stranger: cambodia, if that helps

You: ARRGGHH, THATS FUCKING DISGUSTING.

You: if you wanted to help you should have followed it up with an "and I'm just about to get shot."

Stranger: fucker

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like She'sAFishButNotReally, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans, What does that spell? and check out ourWeekly Poll!

It warms my heart when encountering 12 year olds on the internet. I guess he was a little TEST-ty HAHAHAHA, HAHAHAH, AHAHA, AHA.

Emailed in by one of our readers, MattyC

Stranger: hi

You: hey asl?

Stranger: do you like pokemon?

Stranger: 23 m usa

You: nah but i like poking your mom

Stranger: mate, at least i am not a test tube baby

Stranger: and i have a mom

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like She'sAFishButNotReally, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans, What does that spell? and check out ourWeekly Poll!

Note to self - It does take one to know one.

  Emailed in by one of our readers, the ever purple Barney.

You: I don't like black people

Stranger: why not?

You: they have slitty eyes

Stranger: I thought those were asians

You: Racist!

You have disconnected.

 

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like She'sAFishButNotReally, The Racistinator...The Jew, God damn North Koreans, What does that spell? and check out ourWeekly Poll!

Playing along - not a big fan to be honest.

You: hi

Stranger: HI I m a boy from paris, 20 years old and i search a girl....for msn..

You: thats interesting

You: im looking for a 20 year french boy...for..

You: ;)

Stranger: forr? ;)

You: rape in my basement.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like She'sAFishButNotReally, Concoction of the Day, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell

What does it take to catch a predator? It takes a very hanson man son...now why don't you take a seat over here?

 Emailed in by one of our readers, Gilly.

Stranger: hey

You: hi

Stranger: whats the haps

You: i need to know something

You: are you a predator?

Stranger: that depends

Stranger: are you chris hanson?

You: …………………………………………
……………………………………."-^*''::::::::::"""-~-""~-*-""-^*
……………………………….."-^*''::::"""-::::""-~~-""::~-""::::/:::-~
……………………………."-*':::::::::"-^*::-"":::~-""::-":::/::""""-~:::::'\
………………………….../::::::::"-~^^::::^~-"-":::"-*-"/":::::::::::""-::'\
…………………………../::::::::/::-~~-""::-"::'\:""-*' . . . . *-"::::"""-~^::
…………………………::::::::~~-""____"""-~^* . . . . . . . . *-":::::::-"\
…………………………:::::"-^*''¯ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'\::::^-":-"\
…………………………::::'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .':::~-"":'|
…………………………..\:::'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . \:::~-"""
……………………………\::'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\:::::::"-'"
…………………………….*-| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ""-~~~~-"" . . .'\::::/ /''\'\
……………………………...-| . ""-~~~~-" . . . . "-*"-^*''o¯¯'''''*' . . . \:/ / . | |
……………………………...'\| .*^^*'''¯o¯'''*-" . . . ,''*^~~^*'' . . . . . . | .\*-" '|
…………………………….... . *^~~-~^*'' . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ./-~./
……………………………….\'| . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'| . . /'
……………………………….. . . . . . . ."- ' . . . .*^" . . . . . . . . . . '|*^*' I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC..
…………………………………*-" . . . . . \"-""_""-^^-* . . . . . . . . . . .'| Why don't you have a seat over there
……………………………………\ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . '|
…………………………………….'\ . . . ""_""-~--~^*''''''. . . . . . . . . / .\
……………………………………...\ . . . .''*^~~~^^* . . . . . . . . . '/ . . \-"-"
……………………………………….''-" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ."-* . . . | . \''*-""
………………………………………….*-" . . . . . . . . . . . . ""-^'' . . . . / . . '\;;;;*^-""
…………………………………………...*^-"" . . . . . . .""-*' . . . . . ./' . . . ;;;;;;;;;;¯''*^~-""_
……………………………………….""-^*'|\ . . ¯''*^~~^*'' . . . . . . ."-* . . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;¯'''*^~-""_
……………………………….."""-^*'';;;;;;;;| *-" . . . . . . . . . . . "-*'' . . . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;¯''*^-""
…………………………""-^*''¯;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;|\ . .*-"" . . . . . . ."-*' . . . . . . ./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;*^ ~-""
……………………""-^*';;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;'|.\ . . . *^~-""""-^*' . . . . . . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;¯'''*^-""_
……………..""-^*'¯;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| .\ . . . "-*'::::::-" . . . . . . ./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;''\
………."-^*''¯;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| . \ . ./''\:::::::::::/'''*^-" . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-*'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;'\
…….../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;*-";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| . '\"-* . ::::::/ . . . . *^-""/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-'"";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\
…….;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-*;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| . . . . /"__"-* . . . . . . .'/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;*-";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\
…….'|;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-*;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;| . . "-*:::::::'\ . . . . . . ./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;*";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\
…….;;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;; ;;;;;;| . /:::::::::::::'-" . . . . ./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\
……..'|;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;; ;;;;; ;;;;;;;'| ./::::::::::::::::'\ . . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-*;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\
……..;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;; ;;; ;;;;;;;'|/:::::::::::::::::: . . /;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-*;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|
………'|;;;;;;;;*-";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;':::: ::: :::::::::::: ./;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-*;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'|
………;;;;;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;; ;;; ;;;;;;:::::::::::::::::::::'/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|
……….'|;;;;;;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\;;; ;;;;; ;;;;;;;'::::::::::::::::::::/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'|
……….;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\;;;; ;;; ;;;;;;;::::::::::::::::::/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-*;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|
………..'|;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\ ;;;;; ;;;;;;;;'::::::::::::::::/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-*;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|
…………|;;;;;;;;;;;;;;'\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\ ;;;;; ;;;;;;;::::::::::::::/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|
…………'|;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;\;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;\;;; ;;;;;;;'::::::::::::/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;"-'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

Stranger: OH SHIT, CHRIS HANSON

You: Why don't you take a seat over there?

Stranger: i was just gonna talk about stuff, i swear

Stranger: i dont even do this kinda thing

Stranger: first time

You: Listen, we have chat logs.

You: We know what you've been up to

You: Why did you ask this 13 year old girl to have sex with you?

Stranger: i was just

Stranger: it was just words

You: Then why did you send pictures of yourself?

You: Inappropriate ones?

You: We have the logs

You: no use denying it

Stranger: those werent even me

Stranger: i was just messin around

You: You were messing around in a way that could emotionally scar a minor for life.

You: and you even set up this meeting

You: care to explain yourself?

Stranger: i was going to tell her do avoid this kinda thing because of how dangerous it is

You: sure you were

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Have you found Jesus?, A Wild Omegle Appears!and Double-own.   

Wrap combo - Fan collage of some of our best (or worst) sketches here on lolmegle, enjoy :).

 Emailed in by one of our readers, James Maguire.

Stranger: NO, I'M NOT HORNY

Stranger: tyvm

You: oh

You: i was just gonna ask if you like apples :(

You: do you?

Stranger: yes, i like apples very much

Stranger: and you?

You: yeah i do

You: well that's nice

You: because im gonna shove my fat dick down your throat

You: how you like them apples

You: ?

Stranger: LOLOLOLOL

Stranger: I'D LIKE THAT

Stranger: :}

You: /_____\_____________\____________/____\
|_______|_____________\__________|______|
|_______`._____________|_________|_______:
.\________|____________|_________\|_______|
_\_______|_/_________/__\\\___--___\\_______:
__\______\/_____--~~__________~--__|_\_____|
___\______\_-~___________________~-_\____|
____\______\_________.----------.________\|___|
______\_____\______//_________(_(__>__\___|
_______\___.__C____)_.you just_(_(____>__|__/
_______/\_|___C_____)/__lost_\_(_____>__|_/
______/_/\|___C_____)___the__|__(___>___/__\
_____|___(___C_____)\_game_/__//___/_/_____\
_____|____\__|_____\\_________//__(__/______|
____|_\____\____)___`----___--'______________|
____|__\______________\_______/__________/_|
____|_____________/____|_____|__\___________|
____|____________|____./______\___\__________|_
___|____________/____..|_______|___\__________|
___|___________/_____..\___/\___/_____|_________|
___|__________/________|____|_______|_________|
__|__________|_________|____|_______|_________|

You: you want me to talk dirty?

You: im gonna do it anyway

Stranger: YES

You: DIRT

You: MUD

You: GRIME

You: FECES

Stranger: LMFAO

You: want me to keep going?

Stranger: MMMMMM YES BABE

You: let me put on some music first to set the tone

Stranger: mmm, alright

You: watch me as i put the cd in the cd player, really sexilly

You: watch me as i press the play button, really sexilyy

Stranger: Mmmmmmm, yes

You: oh

You: i love this song

You:.................................................. ............,-~~'''''''~~--,,_

.................................................. ........................,-~''-,:::::::::::::::::::''-,
.................................................. ....................,~''::::::::',::::::: :::::::::::::|',
.................................................. ...................|::::::,-~'''___''''~~--~''':}
.................................................. ...................'|:::::|: : : : : : : : : : : : : :
.................................................. ...................|:::::|: : :-~~---: : : -----: |
.................................................. ..................(_''~-': : : ::: : : : : :
.................................................. ..................'''~-,|: : : : : : ~---': : : :,'--NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP
.................................................. .......................|,: : : : : :-~~--: : ::/ --NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN!
.................................................. ..................,-''':: :'~,,_: : : : : _,-'
.................................................. ............__,-';;;;;:''-,: : : :'~---~''/|
.......................................................__,-~'';;;;;;/;;;;;;;: :: : :____/: :',__
........................................ .,-~~~''''_;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',. .''-,:|:::::::|. . |;;;;''-,
......................................,' ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;. . .:::::,'. ./|;;;;;;;;;;;;;|
...................................,-'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',: : |__|. . .|;;;;;;;;;,';;|
.................................,-";;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',;;;;;;; ;;;; . . |:::|. . .'',;;;;;;;;|;;/
................................/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;. . |::|. . . |;;;;;;;;|/
............................../;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;; ;;; |..|. . . .|;;;;;;;;|
.........................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;'', |.;|. . . . ;;;;;;;|
..........................,~'';;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;,-'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;|. |.;|. . . . .|;;;;;;;|
......................,~'';;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;',;;;;;;| |:|. . . . |;;;;;;;|
.....................,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;/;;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;;| |:|. . . .'|;;',;;;;;|
....................|;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-';;;,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,;;;;| |:|. . .,';;;;;',;;;;|_
..................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'_;;;;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; |.|:|. . .|;;;;;;;|;;;;|''''~-,
................../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/_'',;;;,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ,;;| |:|. . ./;;;;;;;;|;;;|;;;;;;|-,,__
................/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'...|;;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;| |:|._,-';;;;;;;;;|;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;;'''-,_
............../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'....,';;,;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;|.|:|::::'''~--~'''||;;;;;|;;;;;;;;;;,-~''''~--,
............,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'....../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;|.|:|::::::::::::::|;;;;;',;;;;;;;;;''-,: : : : : :'''~-,:'''~~--,
.........../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,-'......,';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;|:|:|::::::::::::::',;;;;;;|_''''~--,,-~---,,___,-~~'''__''~-
........,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;,'......../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;|:|:|:::::::::::::::|;;;;;;|.................. ...''-,_''-,''-,''~
......../;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;/.......,-';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;;;;;;|:|:|:::::::::::::::|;;;;;|................ .............._''

Stranger: Oooh, i do too babe!

You: there once was a man who was old

You: he drunk beer whenever it got cold

You: he picked up his cup

You: said "Never gonna give you up!"

Stranger: he sounds hotttttt

You: oh dear you just got limerickrolled

Stranger: LOL

You: OMG I HAVE RAGING DIARRHEA

You: I NEED HELP

You: IT BURNS

Stranger: awwwwww man

Stranger: im sowwry

You: should i drink it?

Stranger: YE

Stranger: YES

You: euggh yow god

You: i don't remember eating corn..

Stranger: EW

Stranger: WELL, YOU'RE BORING ME, SO BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Have you found Jesus?, A Wild Omegle Appears!and Double-own.  

Australia - you don't want to know what happens in my neighbourhood.

 Emailed in by one of our readers, Chris (Batman) Bale.

Stranger: sup

You: charlie?

Stranger: wtf???

You: lol

You: im looking for my dog

You: he tastes like chicken

Stranger: on the fucking intrnet??

You: yes

You: have you seen him?

Stranger: fucking get up and look out side lol

Stranger: where do u live?

You: your language is offensive to me!

You: australia

You: you?

Stranger: lol USA

You: is gay

Stranger: fuck no

You: i know

You: i really want to go to america one day..

You: to find charlie

Stranger: so do like fuck kangaoos or some shit?

You: yeah, but we have to kill them first, their claws are very sharp

You: so, do you know where my dog is or not..?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Have you found Jesus?, A Wild Omegle Appears!and Double-own. 

Perspectives - we all have a different one, but atleast we ca all agree...showers blow.

 Emailed in by one of our readers, Scotty2Hotty.

Stranger: You're now chatting with a brazillian male. Say hi!

You: Hi

Stranger: Hiii

Stranger: :D

You: Can I ask a question?

Stranger: go ahead

You: It's just that I have a small problem

You: I seem to always get caught in circles which flips my life upside down

You: Do you ever get that?

Stranger: sure

Stranger: not always

You: And when you finally manage to get out, the whole place seems to be covered in hay?

Stranger: That's life

Stranger: You solve a problem just to find another one

You: Then the next thing that usually occurs is.... I really need a drink but I can only get a drop at a time.

You: It's so frustrating!

Stranger: Well, is it indeed

Stranger: But the idea is that you have to enjoy the good part of life between those problems

You: You are right, I think it's just this cage which gets me cranky

Stranger: Maybe you're letting your-self get cought sometimes

Stranger: but i'm not in position to judge

You: Yeh, my tail does get caught at times, the cage is barely big enough

Stranger: Just face that life will always present you with problems

Stranger: and focus not on them, focus on the nice parts

You: You are really good, are you a full time vet?

Stranger: Full time?

You: Or is it just more of a hobby?

Stranger: hummm

Stranger: I would say that is just random encounters

You: I also have a friend who lives in a stable, perhaps you could help her sometime with her addiction to sugar cubes?

Stranger: Sugar cubes?

Stranger: Well

Stranger: I don't speak horsey

Stranger: :D

You: Yep, she goes wild for them.

You: But you speak hamster?

Stranger: Am I speaking to you?

You: Yes, good point

Stranger: Wink*

Stranger: Anyway, want to talk another things?

You: Erm, what is your view on gerbils?

Stranger: I like them, my girlfriend used to have two of them, but one died

Stranger: the other one has like 4 incredibles years old

You: They should all be executed in my opinion, they are the scum of the Earth

You: They give people like me a bad reputation

Stranger: Ow cmon... did you know they are related to the suricates

You: That's interesting, am I right in saying they are related to the Zozu breed as well?

Stranger: Maybe... in a way you guys are all related

Stranger: thanks to Darwin

You: HOLY CRAP!!!!! A FLY JUST BUZZED PAST MY CAGE!!!!

You: NEWS

You: OF

You: THE

You: YEAR

You: Right there

You:That was insane

Stranger: How do you feel about that?

You: I feel like exploding!!! It's just opened a world of possibility to me; where is that fly going? Where has it been? What does it want?

Stranger: I see

You: Well, I better go exercise on the wheel before the boss comes back

Stranger: being a fly must be rly annoying...

Stranger: well

Stranger: Ok, i gotta go take a shower anyway

You: Ok ... weirdo....

You have disconnected.

 

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Have you found Jesus?, A Wild Omegle Appears!and Double-own.