Note to self - realising your potential isn't always a good thing.

You: hello

Stranger: i greet you in the name of love and compassion

Stranger: i honor you as my brother or sister

Stranger: i know deep inside you are a wonderful and good person

You: i raped your mother :D

Stranger: no you didn't

You: ...im going to though.

Stranger: your haughtiness is only a shadow of your true existence

Stranger: realize now that you are infinite potential

Stranger:  why waste it in typing crap that lowers your morality?

You: interesting.

You: what should i be doing instead?

Stranger: what do you think needs to be done around you?

Stranger: look around you

Stranger: look at your neighbourhood

Stranger:  your country

You: theres alot to do though :P

You: where do i start?

Stranger: we all can improve and realize our potential

Stranger:  start within yourself

Stranger: be the change you want to see

You: holy shit man...that's deep

You: i think i see where you're going with this.

Stranger: see...you have the power inside yourself

You: i've got way more potential than this

Stranger: exactly.

You: starting tmmrw

Stranger: the change begins

You: i'm going to rape your father.

Stranger: .........

You: just kidding man, you don't have a father.

You: but you're totally right, i have so much potential

You: starting tmmrw i'm going to rape absolutely everything that moves.

Stranger: ...that's not what i mean't at all.

You:  too bad.

You have disconnected.
If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Have you found Jesus?, A Wild Omegle Appears!and Double-own. 

It's official, lil wayne frequents omegle...and he's a total faggot..............no homo.

Emailed in by one of our readers, emailed in by the nigtastic Alex G.

You: WHY HELLO THERE

Stranger:  hey:D

Stranger: whats going on

You: JUST MASTURBATIN MY DICK ,HBU

Stranger: nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but im a dude

You: aoaoaoaoa

You: NIGGA HOW BIG IS YO DICK NO HOMO

Stranger: not actually never took the time to measure but i would say its small but i wouldnt say its huge

Stranger: hbu (no homo also)

You: LOL

You: ITS PRETTY SMALL

You:  8 1/2

You: HOW ABOUT YOU?

Stranger:  is it cold or something? holy man

You: NIGGA HOW BIG R U

You: NH

You: YO YOU BETTER NOT BE DEAD

Stranger:  lets put it this way i rug burn on the head of my wang so i just hide it in my sock when i come across some carpet

Stranger: nah brah i was wrestling with my dick

Stranger:  i swear it has a brain of its own

You: MINE TALKS TO ME

Stranger:  that crazy man!!!!!!! lucky!

You: IT SAYS YOU PRETTY HOT, YOU WANNA SEND PICS OF YOUR COCK?

You: NO HOMO THOUGH, NIGGA I AINT INTO THAT HOMO SHIT

Stranger: i would but my dick is duct taped down my leg atm and oh yeah man its total not gay to show a brother your dick

You: TOTALLY

You: MAN SOMETIME I GOTTA WRAP MY DICK AROUND MY WAIST, IT CANT CONTAIN ITSELF SOMETIMES!

You: LIKE A BELT

Stranger: yah i know!! that one of the great benifits ! but you here about all the short dicked nigger talking about if they had a huge dick and how they would use it as a kick stand or some shit like that...... it dont work....TRUST ME i have lived the tail , like one day iw as minding my own business and i was like let try that shit...... snaped right the fuck in half , i was in a coma for a good two months

You: DAMN

Stranger: and my dick doesnt even go straight no more ,it droops a little now

Stranger: dont try it man not worth it AT ALL

You: I WONT MAN

You: YO YOU GOT MAGENT IN YO DICK?

Stranger: YAH I CHICK MAGNET;D

Stranger:  jk jk but no man but do you got one my brother?

You:  MAN DAT SHIT LEADS RIGHT TO THE PUSSY

Stranger:  oh yah i just want this little pussy moniter on ma dick that shows what ones are the best

You: OH LIKE A XRAY

You: DAT SHIT BE EXPENSIU DO

Stranger:  oh dam !!! dont even get me started .... your getting bald bill all worked up

Stranger: and yah true dat .... but it would be worth it!

You: TRU TINGS NIGGA

You:  ANYWAY THE PUSSY BE CALLIN MY NAME

You:  PEACE OUT DAWG

Stranger: atta boy dont stop till you get enough RIP MJ

Stranger:  peace nig white

You have disconnected.
If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Have you found Jesus?, A Wild Omegle Appears!and Double-own. 

I'd hate to have his take on spongebob theme.

 Emailed in by one of our readers, element.

You: AHOY THAR!

Stranger: SEXY TIME!

Stranger: Ahoy maty

You: OH YESH!

Stranger: yesh yesh yesh

You: I LOVE TALKING IN CAPS

Stranger: !1!!!1!!!!!!!!11 Onw

You: IT MAKES ME FEEL

You: ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stranger: like a dumbass.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Have you found Jesus?, A Wild Omegle Appears!and Double-own. 

Confusion - something to do with flaps.

Emailedin by one of our readers, the confused K Duffy.

Stranger: hey

You: flaps

Stranger: what?

You: flaps

Stranger: flaps?

You: what?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Have you found Jesus?, A Wild Omegle Appears!and Double-own. 
 

Some say to-may-toe, some say to-mah-toe, I say potato.

Emailed in by one of our readers, our resident potato...the brilliant Sarah Brenny.
Stranger: hi

You: So let me get this straight.

Stranger: female?

You: This is the internet. Am I right so far?

Stranger: yep

You: I see.

You: And you, my friend, are communicating via this 'internet', correct?

Stranger:  i guess

You: Because you, my dear stranger, cannot get laid. Sound familiar?

Stranger: yep right on the money

You: And, to add to your list of problems, your mom's basement gets increasingly cold at night as the winter wears on.

Stranger: nope dont have a basement

You: So you're homeless.

Stranger: no just have a house with four rooms and one of my own

You: So you're a hamster.

Stranger: exactly ima hamster

Stranger: And you are ?

You: Potatoes.

Stranger: Im just guessing but your a female who is uptight cause she is not able to get many orgasms

You: Nah. I'm potatoes. Potatoes typically are perfectly fine living in a sack with fellow potatoes until ready to be peeled and mashed/boiled/smashed. In my case though, I'm a rebel. I became sentient around 1942 and decided to invent and subsequently frequent the internet.

Stranger:  what is the point of informing me of the most irrelevant thing you could possibly say

You: Irrelevant? Oh my laws! This is only my life story! You indignant fool. How dare you diminish the importance of potatoes' role in the invention of the superworldwide interwebhighway!?

Stranger: what in the hell do a mere potatoe have anything to doo with the freaking internet

You: No, not *a* potato. I am potatoeS. The whole of my being is made up of 7 separate potatoes working together to establish sentience matching that of one human of above-average intelligence. That aside, however, I went to great lengths to achieve the invention and patent of the Internet as we know it, and to this day, I use this technology and marvel at my own genius.

Stranger: .....

You: That's how most of the world reacts upon the realization of the truth behind my masterpiece. Just soak it in, son.

Stranger: ..........

You: Take your time.

Stranger:  nothing to respond to how dumb you sound

You: Or is your speechlessness merely a result of the restriction placed upon your vocabulary and thought processes due to the limitations of your own intelligence?

Stranger: as much as that may be true

You: Ah, but it is. It is simple as that.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Have you found Jesus?, A Wild Omegle Appears!and Double-own. 

Efficiency - works best with no bullshit.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hiii

You: no i will not have sex with you

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like She'sAFishButNotReally, Concoction of the Day, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell

The Muffin Man!!!

Emailedin by one of our readers, the gritty J Macguire.

You: hey

Stranger: do you know the muffin man?

You: the muffin man?

Stranger: the muffin man!

You: who's gagging on my cock?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like She'sAFishButNotReally, Concoction of the Day, God damn North Koreans and What does that spell