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Saturday, February 27, 2010

Some say to-may-toe, some say to-mah-toe, I say potato.

Emailed in by one of our readers, our resident potato...the brilliant Sarah Brenny.
Stranger: hi
You: So let me get this straight.
Stranger: female?
You: This is the internet. Am I right so far?
Stranger: yep
You: I see.
You: And you, my friend, are communicating via this 'internet', correct?
Stranger:  i guess
You: Because you, my dear stranger, cannot get laid. Sound familiar?
Stranger: yep right on the money
You: And, to add to your list of problems, your mom's basement gets increasingly cold at night as the winter wears on.
Stranger: nope dont have a basement
You: So you're homeless.
Stranger: no just have a house with four rooms and one of my own
You: So you're a hamster.
Stranger: exactly ima hamster
Stranger: And you are ?
You: Potatoes.
Stranger: Im just guessing but your a female who is uptight cause she is not able to get many orgasms
You: Nah. I'm potatoes. Potatoes typically are perfectly fine living in a sack with fellow potatoes until ready to be peeled and mashed/boiled/smashed. In my case though, I'm a rebel. I became sentient around 1942 and decided to invent and subsequently frequent the internet.
Stranger:  what is the point of informing me of the most irrelevant thing you could possibly say
You: Irrelevant? Oh my laws! This is only my life story! You indignant fool. How dare you diminish the importance of potatoes' role in the invention of the superworldwide interwebhighway!?
Stranger: what in the hell do a mere potatoe have anything to doo with the freaking internet
You: No, not *a* potato. I am potatoeS. The whole of my being is made up of 7 separate potatoes working together to establish sentience matching that of one human of above-average intelligence. That aside, however, I went to great lengths to achieve the invention and patent of the Internet as we know it, and to this day, I use this technology and marvel at my own genius.
Stranger: .....
You: That's how most of the world reacts upon the realization of the truth behind my masterpiece. Just soak it in, son.
Stranger: ..........
You: Take your time.
Stranger:  nothing to respond to how dumb you sound
You: Or is your speechlessness merely a result of the restriction placed upon your vocabulary and thought processes due to the limitations of your own intelligence?
Stranger: as much as that may be true
You: Ah, but it is. It is simple as that.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Have you found Jesus?A Wild Omegle Appears!and Double-own. 

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