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Sunday, December 13, 2009

Detective Dipshit - Volume 1

Emailed in by one of our readers, Swat Swat.
You: hi
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asp
You: ?
You: asp?
You: you like snakes?
Stranger: yes i do
Stranger: asp means age sex place
You: no one says that
Stranger: so?
You: they say asl
You: age sex location
Stranger: ok asl?
You: well, that would ruin the mystery
Stranger: you like mystry
You: I will give you a hint: I am a great detective and my bumbling partner's name is watson.
Stranger: you fuck each other
You: I was written about by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
You: I have solved many mysteries.
Stranger: is that your gay parter to
You: My arch-nemesis is professor James Moriarty
Stranger: are you a retardo
You: I use deductive reasoning to see what others cannot.
You: My name...
You: if you have no reasoned it out yet
Stranger: physco i guess
You: is Sherlock Holmes
You: would you like to know what I have learned about you from this conversation?
Stranger: yes please
Stranger: i am waiting
You: You are a male, in your late adolesence to early adulthood. You do not have a romantic partner, nor have you in the past. You are not a native english speaker. You often feel inferior to successful people you meet or see. To mask your feelings of inferiority you degrade other races verbally, however have not ever confronted one in real life.
You: You often act impulsively.
Stranger: i am impressed
Stranger: you a doctor or something
You: I am a detective.
You have disconnected.

If you liked this lolmegle sketch you may also like Tame Rejection, DesperationThe Racistinator...The JewGod damn North Koreans and What does that spell?

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