Detective Dipshit - Volume 1

Emailed in by one of our readers, Swat Swat.
You: hi

Stranger: hi

Stranger: asp

You: ?

You: asp?

You: you like snakes?

Stranger: yes i do

Stranger: asp means age sex place

You: no one says that

Stranger: so?

You: they say asl

You: age sex location

Stranger: ok asl?

You: well, that would ruin the mystery

Stranger: you like mystry

You: I will give you a hint: I am a great detective and my bumbling partner's name is watson.

Stranger: you fuck each other

You: I was written about by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

You: I have solved many mysteries.

Stranger: is that your gay parter to

You: My arch-nemesis is professor James Moriarty

Stranger: are you a retardo

You: I use deductive reasoning to see what others cannot.

You: My name...

You: if you have no reasoned it out yet

Stranger: physco i guess

You: is Sherlock Holmes

You: would you like to know what I have learned about you from this conversation?

Stranger: yes please

Stranger: i am waiting

You: You are a male, in your late adolesence to early adulthood. You do not have a romantic partner, nor have you in the past. You are not a native english speaker. You often feel inferior to successful people you meet or see. To mask your feelings of inferiority you degrade other races verbally, however have not ever confronted one in real life.

You: You often act impulsively.

Stranger: i am impressed

Stranger: you a doctor or something

You: I am a detective.

You have disconnected.

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